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Toxic Ships and Couples People Don’t Talk About Enough

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Shipping, like so many things, is wildly subjective. Depending on who you are and your tastes, you might really like or hate certain ships or couples whether a lot of people agree or not. Another thing that is subjective is what constitutes ‘toxic’ or not. Is it only toxic when one or both members of the ship do things within the story, or when one or both parties represent something in real life? Is only abuse toxic, or can the incompatibility be seen as unhealthy or toxic, or just simply unsustainable? Do you believe in the girl or bro code? Do you think exes should pursue friends or relatives?

Let’s explore some ships below and why I feel they are toxic and why people don’t talk about them enough for my liking.

SPOILERS ahead for Gossip Girl (the original series), 90210 (the CW reboot), Smallville, The Vampire Diaries, Batwoman, Sex and the City, the Injustice games, Pretty Little Liars, and Titans.

10. Gossip Girl: SO Many of Them…

The cast of Gossip Girl in season 3

The original Gossip Girl series (no, I don’t even want to think about that garbage reboot, let alone talk about it) was extremely popular and featured some of the most popular ships in teen dramas today. And while yes, the show features some truly good ships and couples, namely Rufus Humphrey and Lily van der Woodsen, it was rife with toxic ships of varying degrees of toxicity. On the lighter end, Dan and Blair proved to be unexpected and very popular. It was also shown to be much healthier compared to Chuck and Blair. However, it was built upon a best friend dating another best friend’s ex who was one of their greatest loves, and it’s just never a good idea to cross those lines when there are so many other fish in the sea, not to mention Dan was Gossip Girl all along which taints any relationship in the main cast, least of all Serena.

Nate and Jenny were cute, but it ended earlier than it likely would have if Chace Crawford didn’t express discomfort in having to make out with Taylor Momsen who was a minor at the time. In fact, Momsen was the only cast member who actually was a teenager playing a teenager, while everyone else was an adult. Dan and Vanessa, who had a much stronger relationship in the books, were torpedoed because the fandom hated Vanessa, so they had Vanessa take part in a plot that led to Serena being drugged and later stealing Dan’s money before fleeing the country. But none was worse than the show’s most popular ship: Chuck and Blair, which saw Chuck essentially pimp out his girlfriend to his uncle, both play games with each other’s hearts, and Chuck basically almost punch Blair and scare her half to death, but instead hitting the window behind her and grazing her with the broken glass. And the show ends with them getting married as well as Serena marrying Dan, her stalker and abuser who put her and their friends (and his sister’s, though they said Jenny had “final approval” for all the posts…) dirty laundry online for the world to see. Dan and Serena were of course the second most popular ship on the show.

9. The Vampire Diaries: Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert

Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert in The Vampire Diaries

As soon as I knew I was doing an article on this topic, this hellscape of a ship entered my mind. It’s on this list because most people seem to endlessly love this ship for absolutely no good reason. I hate this couple more than I can possibly say. If you like it or can’t stand to hear negative things about it, feel free to leave this section. Damon and Elena are the most mismatched, obnoxious, melodramatic couple I have ever seen in a teen drama. Even Chuck and Blair, toxic as they were, made sense and matched each other’s energy. But Damon, who loved being a vampire and reveled in the power it afforded him, was completely incompatible with Elena who never wanted to be a vampire and desired normalcy.

Damon also did way too much to Elena directly and indirectly for Elena to ever take him seriously. He: turned her biological mother into a vampire and was sleeping with her, tried to kill her best friend, was mind-controlling and r*ping her other best friend and erasing her memories while also feeding on her (though they retconned this out later, it still happened and we can go back and watch it even if the show refuses to acknowledge it anymore), snapped her brother’s neck and killed him (he got better thanks to magical a ring, which Damon didn’t know would save him) because Elena broke his heart, killed a friend of Elena’s in college because she seemingly broke up with him (he didn’t have a ring, so… he dead), and generally didn’t care about her wishes or plans if he felt they sucked (which was true, but still). Damon worked best as a morally gray, Lestat-type vampire. He had to be reduced and turned into a woobie in order to make any sense for Elena. He needed her love to make him “good” which is such a toxic message to send to impressionable viewers. It should not take you being with someone to be a good person, you should be a good person because you want to be, for yourself.

Despite the fact that Damon would have been a much better match for Bonnie Bennett, especially since their progression from enemies to grudging respect and ally-ship, to genuine friendship took seasons to develop, Julie Plec and Caroline Dries did not want the Black girl to be paired with the show’s number one fan-favorite character, so they absolutely refused to let it happen, even though it had a basis in the books just like Damon and Elena. Bonnie couldn’t have anything, it all had to go to Elena.

8. Batwoman: Ryan Wilder and Angelique Martin

Ryan Wilder and Angelique Martin in Batwoman

I was extremely annoyed when I saw that Ryan’s love interest in her first season was a white girl. And not just any white girl. An edgy, bad girl. Groan. The CW tends to feature interracial couples when they depict LGBTQIA+ love. And while there is nothing wrong with interracial couples in general, it is also important to show Black people being interested in being around other Black people, including loving them too. And Black queer and LGBTQIA+ ships are sorely lacking on the CW.

I found Angelique to be boring, annoying, and to have very little chemistry with Ryan. The fact that Ryan’s record is due to essentially taking the fall for her ex, a white person who does illegal activities, was cringe-inducing. I don’t necessarily blame or assume that drug dealers or other (certain) types of criminals are inherently bad or evil. The system is designed to keep some people down and especially Black people, and especially Black Americans in this country, have way too many systems against them all that once which often leads to certain choices being made with few other options. However, Angelique, while an orphan, is not Black, so I care less about her plight and her struggle because she let her lover, a Black woman in Gotham City, the worst city in all of fiction, take the fall for her and get a record for a crime she herself committed. Forget Angelique, I’m so very happy Ryan and Sophie are here, and we have a worthy Black queer ship in one of these shows.

7. Titans: Dick Grayson and Dawn Granger as well as Rachel Roth and Gar Logan

Dawn Granger and Dick Grayson in Titans

While Brendan Thwaites makes a decent Dick Grayson (if more broody, angsty, and angrier than I like, the Dick I know is the fun and charismatic member of the Bat-Family who is the most liked member in all of the DC Universe among the heroes), and Anna Diop is an excellent Starfire and one of the best actors on the show, the sad fact is that the two actors don’t have the best chemistry. This means the famous and popular Dick Grayson and Starfire ship was D.O.A. in the series. However, also unfortunately for me, Thwaites and Minka Kelley, who played Dove aka Dawn Granger have really good chemistry. Dick and Dawn have never been a thing in the comics prior to the creation of the series (I can’t say they haven’t put them together at all since I wouldn’t be surprised if they did or will by the time of this posting), and I feel that Dawn and Hank were the superior couple. Hank and Dawn complement each other better, unfortunately now Hank is dead, and while Dawn has left, she could always return… shudder.

Rachel Roth and Gar Logan in Titans

Conversely, Rachel and Gar are an incredibly popular ship that was born in the 2003 Teen Titans animated series and then carried over to the comics. The main issue for this live-action series is that they cast a 13-year-old child to play Rachel for the series from the very beginning. Gar, on the other hand, was played by a 23-year-old. I remain asking myself: why did they cast that child? No offense, but in season one, Teagan Croft (Rachel) was easily the weakest actor in the main cast. It would have made more sense if she was absolutely amazing in the role and that was why they cast such a young child, but I honestly have no idea why. By season two and into season three, Croft’s acting has improved, but I still wonder why she was cast.

While Rachel and Gar have not kissed or even confessed any feelings, they were meant to be a couple in the illusionary future sequence in the season one finale when they Skyped Dick and Dawn, and season 2 has characters like Starfire commenting on them having a thing for each other. Kory even says, “It’s perfectly natural if you want to make out with her.” Please god, NO. I know perhaps by the time Croft turns eighteen, they’ll put them together and technically it would be legal and fine to have them kissing and being intimate, but that doesn’t change that he was 23 in real life and she was 13 in season one during filming. I think the show wants us to believe they’re the same age or maybe he’s a couple of years older… Girl…

6. Injustice Series: Superman and Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman and (not) Superman in Injustice 2

In the Injustice games and comics, Superman is an evil dictator due to being tricked into killing Lois Lane, the love of his life, who was also secretly pregnant with their child at the time. After Superman kills the hell out of the Joker for making Supes do that, he later enters a relationship with Wonder Woman, who assists him in his dictatorship. It’s not clear if their relationship is mostly physical or also romantic in nature, but it is clear that neither is truly in love the way Superman was with Lois.

Injustice 2 shows Wonder Woman being affected by Scarecrow’s fear toxin which manifests as Superman almost kissing her (shown above) before breaking away and blaming her for turning him evil and/or exacerbating his grief and need for control. Basically, it’s Diana’s fault Superman is the way he is now rather than himself. While one could view this sequence as merely Diana’s fear and guilt being manifested, it just reminds the player that many fans hate this version of Diana and see her as one main reason Superman is a jerk in this continuity. This ship does neither any favors, and Clark is responsible for his own actions, and Diana hers. Side note, I’m sick of evil Superman narratives. Superhero content seems rife with them these days. I’d rather explore an evil Batman story, especially since everyone is so convinced he can beat everyone under the sun with enough “prep time”.

5. Smallville: Lex Luthor and Lana Lang

While I personally love this series more than I can possibly say and season 6 was probably my favorite season, this ship was a disaster for multiple reasons. While it brought the drama and the complications, it made Lex look beyond desperate and pathetic in many devastating ways. Lex losing his cool after failing to lie and scheme his way into making Lana love him for real before basically threatening to not let her leave was painful to watch. Lex Luthor of Smallville is the greatest live-action version we have EVER had any adaptation of the character (fight me in the street). He could have any woman he wanted, and while Lana was that bitch on the show and fine as hell (even if you hated her character, and I know so many of you have and maybe still do), Lex literally had women throwing themselves at him like no tomorrow.

But the worst part was that Lana was meant to be fourteen in season one, and as early as season one we see Lex comment on her beauty and encourage Clark to pursue her. Much like my prediction for Rachel and Gar on Titans, it feels like Lex waited for Lana to be of age before he started actually pursuing her and got with her. And while Clark and Lex were no longer friends, it was still amazing that despite being able to have almost anyone, Lex would go after his former best friend’s ex. It’s almost as if Lana was only on his radar because he knew Clark loved her. And either she was another way to feel superior to Clark (what he said to Clark when inviting him to the wedding certainly suggests this when he said: “I want you to be there… to see what you lost.”) or she was the closest thing to him being with Clark himself (if you choose to look at it in a queer lens). Either way, it was horrible and Lex drugged Lana with massive amounts of hormones to make her think she was pregnant, as well as bribe a doctor to put up false sonograms to reinforce it. Just, disturbing.

4. 90210: Navid Shirazi and Erin Silver

Navid Shirazi and Erin Silver in 90210.

Full disclosure, I did not care for Navid much by this time in season 3 and definitely did not like Silver for most of the series aside from season 2. I also really liked Adrianna Tate-Duncan even in season 3 and despite the horrible thing she did to Silver due to this situation. That being said: fuck Navid and Silver for this. Navid was said to be in love with Adrianna since second grade and he turns around and carries on an affair with one of her best friends. Navid and Silver didn’t just cheat once or a few times, they carried on an affair, continually sneaking around behind Ade’s back. Worst of all, when Annie was accused of sleeping with Liam behind Naomi’s back, she was exiled and treated like shit, and abandoned by all her friends, including Silver who previously was only friends with Annie and had been on very bad terms with Naomi prior to the series. And Annie didn’t even do it and got skewered, while when it’s revealed that Navid and Silver were cheating behind Ade’s back, no one called her out and everyone was weirdly supportive of their relationship.

One of Navid’s excuses and justifications for cheating on Adrianna is that she had changed, was being kind of a diva and a bitch, and didn’t have time for him and his problems, but Silver was there for him. First of all, Adrianna easily got the worst hand right out the gate: being pushed to act in order to support herself and her mother because she was a child actress, saddled with addiction problems, and her dirty laundry being aired out to the entire school about it, plus the painful situation of her teen pregnancy and decision to give her baby up for adoption. So by this time, Adrianna has gotten her big break and her dreams have come true. Why can’t she revel in her happiness for once? She was the school train wreck and now she’s a star! Why can’t her friends forgive her attitude a bit and have some understanding, or better yet talk to her and tell her how they feel about her attitude so she has a chance to do something about it? Instead, these people decide to call her out when they’ve had enough and bring it up at the worst times, like when the girls called her a bitch during the retreat, including Silver who at the time was secretly hooking up with her boyfriend!

The worst part about Navid turning to Silver was that he kept going to her for a shoulder to cry on as if he had literally no other friends. I literally kept screaming at my TV why he didn’t go talk to Dixon especially, who was usually a pretty nice guy and would probably listen, especially with what Navid was dealing with his father’s crimes and family situation. But no, Silver had to be the one. Even worse than that, Navid ended up with Adrianna anyway which made this whole ship and storyline fucking pointless. Almost as pointless as Silver and Liam, but don’t even want to think about that bullshit, so let me go on…

3. Pretty Little Liars: Alison Dilaurentis and Emily Fields

Alison Dilaurentis and Emily Fields in Pretty Little Liars.

Poor Emily. She had one girlfriend be murdered for no narrative reason. Then she was saddled with a girl who tried to drown her. She had another love interest who was painfully weird and obviously shady, who also eventually died. She was known throughout the fandom as “the boring one” because her storylines were the most neglected and least cared for, and the writers decided endless, often meaningless relationships were the way to go for her instead of actually giving her good storylines. Also, her dad died, and he was easily the nicest and best dad on the entire show. Worst of all they ended the series with a forced, confusing romance with one of her original bullies who had toyed with her heart, strung her along, and used her and the rest of her friends.

Perhaps even more than Emily, poor Alison. Once the best, most iconic character on the show, despite being a child. She was such an effective villain that even the adults were nervous around her and afraid of her. Alison was truly a master manipulator and an excellent alpha bitch and mean girl. Her actress had an excellent charisma and could pull off the most ridiculous lines that would sound stupid being said by anyone else (“It’s immortality, my darlings”). By the fifth season, the show decided Alison was a victim and a good person, and worse yet stripped her of all of her skills and competence. Unlike Mona who had been A and was similar to Alison and had also reformed, Mona retained her skills and capabilities upon Heel-Face Turning. Alison? She was utterly helpless and useless.

The show worked best when it revolved around Alison and she was this bad person, even when everyone assumed she was dead. She either should have stayed dead and we avoided all this crap, or she should have been the final A, alongside Aria (as Aria showed a lot of disturbing tendencies, selfishness, and willingness to do horrible things under pressure or while feeling extreme emotions. Plus Ali once said to her “I picked you for a reason”, but this was never elaborated upon). That or stick to the books. In the books, Emily actually plays a very key role in stopping the bad guy in the end and was much more important to the narrative. Plus the twin twist that was utterly botched in the show was so much better in the books. Please read the books if you like YA.

2. Sex and the City: Carrie Bradshaw and Aiden Shaw

Carrie Bradshaw and Aiden Shaw in Sex and the City

I keep coming across articles and videos on why Aiden was the best of Carrie’s love interests and why she should have chosen him. I’m not interested. I’ll keep this one brief but quite simply, they were not a match. Big was and is toxic, and so was Carrie. They were messes that deserved each other. Aiden wanted someone Carrie was not and she kept trying to hide, change and deny things about herself to appeal to him, which was the first sign that they weren’t good for each other. Carrie was absolutely wrong to cheat, but Aiden was also a little shit for taking her back and then basically torturing and punishing her over it when she wanted to move forward with their relationship. Aiden wasn’t as messy as Carrie, but the man was no patron saint or prize so many people today seem to be making him out to be.

1. Harley Quinn: Poison Ivy and Kite Man

Kite Man and Poison Ivy in Harley Quinn.

I don’t understand what people’s obsession with Kite Man is, or why they love to tear down Harley or Ivy or both to defend him. This was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy was one of the main characters. It was always meant to lead to the two of them being together. That being said, I don’t condone cheating and I hate that this was how we had to get Harley and Ivy together in the series.

Quite frankly, I’m not so in love with Kite Man as much as so many viewers seem to be. He’s nice, I guess, but he’s an incredibly basic Chad. I hate the way he talks, it’s honestly annoying as fuck, and he was never good enough for Ivy. The thing that most people don’t seem to realize about Ivy and Kite Man’s relationship was that everything was always on his terms: he pursued her even when she was not interested and initially turned him down and insulted him to his face. And for whatever reason when she started sleeping with him, it was him who wanted to go public. He was the one who proposed despite only dating for maybe a year. He chose the venue where they would marry and at the altar he had their entire future mapped out for them. This man watn’t shit, but fans and people, in general, seem to have endless leniency and tolerance for decent-looking and semi-respectful white men, but I don’t.

Harley is a fucking mess on the show. She too, for some folks, is quite basic. But at least Harley and Ivy are canonically a couple and it would be a queer ship on a popular animated series. Harley and Kite Man are basic, but at least Harley is more interesting and this is her show, so she has time to change and surprise folks.

Learning that Kite Man and Ivy were dating initially caused me to skip this series. I hate straight-washing. So when I stumbled across a vid of Harley and Ivy waking up in bed together, I knew I had to watch it, and I’m so glad I did. I love this series so much and think it’s awesome. And I’m glad I got the queer ship I wanted all along, but hate that it had to happen this way and how many people put all blame on Ivy and Harley for Kite Man and Ivy not working and refusing to see why it never would have worked anyway. The fact is that Ivy mostly went along with 90% of the entire ship. There wasn’t a burning desire to be with him, almost every milestone in their relationship was him wanting it and her going along with it. Ivy challenges and calls Harley out on her bullshit, and Harley is present for Ivy, knows her best, and is willing to do anything for her, even kill those industrialists who fucked with the environment. Personally, I’m excited for season 3.

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I identify as a womanist. I am also gay. I am a Black American-Descendant of American Chattel Slavery. My pronouns are he/him/his, and I am a comics, tv, movie, and video game stan. My expertise for comics and related media are DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Archie Comics, and a little bit of others here and there, but I'm hoping to branch out to other, Blacker and indie comics and related content. I'm a binge watcher and can talk about shows for days. You can find me on YouTube and various other social media platforms as thaboiinblue.

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Entertainment

Here’s Why We Need Women Only X-Men Games

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The Best X-Men Are Women, So Why Aren't They Any Video Games To Reflect That?
It is an iconic game… with only four or five playable women out of over twenty characters

Intro

Video games are among the best forms of entertainment for many people. It allows one to take direct control of the entertainment by actively controlling the action to move the story along. Games allow us to truly be some of our favorite characters.

The X-Men are one of the most iconic fictional groups of characters of all time. The women of the X-Men are among the very best of all American comics and other forms of media. These characters have helped shape and inspire countless fans. Even many casual fans with the most basic of knowledge, or even none at all, have seen characters like Storm, Wolverine, or Jean Grey even in passing. So why is it that so many X-Men games featured very little, one, or at times none of their iconic ladies?

Classic sexism or misogyny seems to be the obvious answer. Likely also the notion of a predominately male audience with a perceived preference to control male characters over female ones. Do they think younger boys or grown men would only want to play as men? And even in the case of the explicitly hetero male gamers: do they think they wouldn’t want to look at and play as sexy ladies kicking ass? Either way, let’s look at some of the history of X-Men and larger Marvel games featuring the X-Men and discuss why an X-Women game is necessary, and what it could look like.

Disclaimer

As always, this opinion is subjective and your mileage may vary. This article will focus on X-Men-specific games as well as larger Marvel games. Wolverine games will be skipped because he is typically going to be the sole playable character in those titles. This article focuses on games in which X-Men characters are playable. Aside from one mobile game, which remains the final solo X-Men game to date, I will be leaving out all other mobile games from the article.

Why the X-Women Deserve Their Own Game

Art by Peter Nguyen

The women of the X-Men have been underrepresented in video games. They have been absent, vastly outnumbered by the men, or otherwise underutilized as a whole. There are X-Women who have never appeared in a video game, let alone been playable. Other times, depending on the game, a woman character might be very poorly handled (Emma Frost in the first X-Men Legends game comes to mind) or given very little to do (Psylocke is unlocked towards the end of the same game, and there was no new game plus, so this would always be the case no matter what).

The Women of the X-Men are not only iconic but their designs and powers are often very well suited for video games. The only main exceptions are Kitty Pryde (screw her anyway for her three uses of the n-word in the comics) and Mystique (whose shapeshifting does nothing for combat or offense in most games). But the X-Men as a whole have serious untapped potential for exciting new characters to be explored in games and other media, and their women are no exception.

X-Men Games and Playable X-Women

The Uncanny X-Men (1989) for the NES only had Storm playable of six playable characters.

X-Men: Madness in Murderworld (1989) for Commodore 64 (chile… what now..?) and PC had Storm and Dazzler playable of six characters.

X-Men: Fall of the Mutants (1990) for PC had Jean Grey, Kitty Pryde, Rachel Summers, Rogue, and Dazzler playable of fifteen characters (a good amount, but a lackluster ratio of women versus characters overall, this will be a recurring theme. Also why not Storm??? Supporting but not fully playable for some reason).

X-Men (1992) for Arcade, PS3, Xbox 360, iOS, and Android had Dazzler and Storm of six characters.

Spider-Man/X-Men: Arcade’s Revenge (1992) for Sega Genesis, Super NES, Game Boy, and Game Gear had Storm of four playable X-Men (as well as Spider-Man, obviously).

X-Men (1993) (they really came up with an interesting title for the next solo X-Men game just one year after the last…) for Sega Genesis had zero playable woman characters.

X-Men (1994) (lmao… am I being trolled right now?) for Game Gear had Storm, Rogue, and Psylocke of seven characters.

X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (1994) for Super NES only had Psylocke of five characters.

X-Men: Children of the Atom (1994) for Arcade, PC, PlayStation, and Sega Saturn had Storm, Psylocke, and Spiral of thirteen characters.

X-Men 2: Game Master’s Legacy (1995) for Game Gear had Storm, Jean Grey, and Rogue out of seven characters.

X-Men 2: Clone Wars (1995) for Sega Genesis only had Psylocke of seven characters.

X-Men vs. Street Fighter (1996) for Arcade had Storm and Rogue of eight X-Men characters.

X-Men 3: Mojo World (1996) for Game Gear and Master System (who???) had Psylocke, Rogue, and Shard (hooray for Shard, but no Storm? Not even Shard’s more famous brother Bishop was playable).

X-Men: Ravages of Apocalypse (1997) for PC had no playable X-Men. Instead, you fight their clones, and some of them are X-Women.

X-Men: Mutant Academy (2000) for PlayStation and Game Boy Color had Storm in both versions and Phoenix was only playable as a secret character in the Gameboy Color version out of five characters in both versions (Beast was playable in PS1, absent in GBC).

X-Men: Mutant Wars (2000) for Game Boy Color only had Storm out of five characters.

X-Men: Mutant Academy 2 (2001) for PlayStation had Storm, Rogue, Phoenix, Psylocke, and Mystique out of eighteen characters.

X-Men: Reign of Apocalypse (2001) for Game Boy Advance had Storm and Rogue of four characters (and one of the very rare even splits).

X-Men: Next Dimension (2002) for PlayStation 2, Xbox, and GameCube had Storm, Rogue, Phoenix (with some of Jean’s pink psi powers), Dark Phoenix (with mostly fire-based powers), Betsy (telepathic, X-Treme X-Men Psylocke with classic psi-knife), Psylocke (X-Men 2000 telekinetic Psylocke with psi-katana), Mystique, Lady Deathstrike, and Sentinel B (which had a feminine design) out of 24 or 25 characters.

X-Men Legends (2004) for PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube, and N-Gage (whatever that is… I heard about it back then, but never saw one) had Storm, Jean Grey, Rogue, Psylocke, Jubilee, Emma Frost, and Magma out of fifteen characters.

X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse (2005) for PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube, PSP, mobile phone, PC, and N-Gage had Storm, Jean Grey, Rogue, and Scarlet Witch on the console versions. Dark Phoenix was a PSP exclusive. These characters were out of 18 characters across versions.

X-Men: The Official Game (2006) for PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, and Xbox 360 had zero playable X-Women out of five playable dudes across versions.

X-Men: Destiny (2011) for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, and DS had no playable historical X-Men, only original characters. Of those three playable characters, one was a girl.

The Uncanny X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) for iOS and Android had Storm, Kitty Pryde, Polaris, and Scarlet Witch out of eight characters.

Other Games

Marvel Super Heroes (1995) for Arcade, PlayStation, and Sega Saturn had only Psylocke of four playable X-Men characters.

Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems (1996) for Super NES had no playable X-Women and no playable women whatsoever.

Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter (1997) for Arcade, PlayStation, and Sega Saturn had no X-Women or any other Marvel women.

Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of the Super Heroes (1998) for Arcade, PlayStation, and Dreamcast had Storm, Rogue, Psylocke, and Jubilee of ten X-Men characters and twelve Marvel characters overall.

Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000) for Arcade, Dreamcast, PlayStation 2, Xbox, PlayStation 3, and Xbox 360 had Storm, Rogue, Psylocke, Spiral, and Marrow of eighteen X-Men characters and 28 Marvel characters overall.

Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (2005) for PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube, PSP, and DS had Storm of two X-Men characters and twelve Marvel characters across versions.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance (2006) for PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, PSP, GBA, and PC had Storm and Jean Grey (a striker character in GBA only) of 10 X-Men characters and thirty-eight Marve characters across versions.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 (2009) for PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, PSP, GBA, and DS had Storm, Jean Grey, and Psylocke of 11 X-Men characters and thirty-four Marvel characters across versions.

Marvel Super Hero Squad (2009) for PlayStation 2, PC, DS, PSP, and Wii had only Storm of three X-Men characters and eighteen Marvel characters.

Marvel Super Hero Squad: The Infinity Gauntlet (2010) for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS, and 3DS had only Scarlet Witch of three X-Men characters and sixteen Marvel characters.

Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (2011) for PS3 and 360 had Storm, Phoenix, and X-23 of 7 X-Men characters and nineteen Marvel characters in total.

Marvel Super Hero Squad: Comic Combat (2011) for PS3, 360, and Wii had only Scarlet Witch of two X-Men characters and ten Marvel characters overall.

Marvel Heroes (2013) for PC had Storm, Rogue, Jean Grey, Psylocke, Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde, X-23, Magik, and Scarlet Witch out of twenty-one X-Men characters and many more characters overall.

Lego Marvel Super Heroes (2013) for PS3, 360, Wii U, PS Vita, 3DS, PC, Xbox One, and PS4 had Storm, Jean Grey, Phoenix, Emma Frost, Psylocke, Polaris, Mystique, and Dark Phoenix of twenty-nine X-Men and many characters overall.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order (2019) for Nintendo Switch had Storm, Phoenix, Psylocke, and Scarlet Witch of thirteen X-Men characters and fifty-two characters.

Marvel’s Midnight Suns (2022) for PS5, PS4, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, and Windows has Magik, Scarlet Witch, and Storm (DLC) out of five X-Men characters (finally, the women outnumber the men) and seventeen characters overall.

What an X-Women Game Could Look Like

Art by pretty-cool-huh of Deviant Art

The game should be multi-platform and have absolutely no system exclusives. Storm should be the leader of the team and one of the focal characters, if not THE main character. An open-world, Marvel’s Spider-Man-type situation would be awesome, but a linear RPG wouldn’t be bad either. The key thing is that it must have excellent graphics, cutscenes, storytelling, dialogue, voice acting, and gameplay. Emphasis on replay value would also increase it’s appeal.

Just like in past games in which X-Women were assistants or supporting characters, the men can serve those functions here. We don’t need a reason for the men not to be playable like they were kidnapped or something. They can be there and play roles in the story and assist on the sidelines, but the women need to shine.

The ladies (and even the men, you just won’t play as them) should have several alternate costumes spanning their comics’ histories, other media versions, and their Hellfire Gala looks. The villains should also include famous women X-Men villains such as Mystique, Destiny, Madelyne Pryor, Selene, Malice, Lady Mastermind, Martinique Jason, Danger, and maybe Cassandra Nova and/or Moira MacTaggart as the big bads. The villains should also include male X-Men villains because beating up men as women is always a good time.

The possible roster should include Storm, Jean Grey (also as Marvel Girl, Phoenix, Dark Phoenix, and the White Phoenix of the Crown), Rogue, Captain Britain (Betsy Braddock), Psylocke (Kwannon), Dazzler, Emma Frost, Jubilee, Monet St. Croix, Firestar, Polaris, Rachel Summers, Magik, X-23, Siryn, Wolfsbane, Karma, Magma, Mirage (dark-skinned, please and thank you), Frenzy, Dr. Cecilia Reyes (as the Afro Puerto Rican she is, thank you very much), Scarlet Witch, Blink, Nocturne, Sasquatch (Heather Hudson), Sunfire (Mariko Yashida), Namora (Exiles), Petra, Sway, Callisto, Marrow, Domino, etc.

And no Kitty Pryde. We don’t even need to mention her, sorry but not sorry.

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‘My Adventures With Superman’ Is Beyond Cute

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My Adventures with Superman

After countless gritty Superman stories as of late, it’s nice to have a fresh take on the Man of Steel who once again has a heart of gold. My Adventures with Superman, a Max original animated series, reimagines the origins of Clark Kent aka Superman, and his first meeting with Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen as interns at The Daily Planet. The series is whimsical, humorous, and heartwarming, but also action-packed and unexpected in delightful ways. This series sets up familiar and greatly desired traditional beats. It also shakes the table with some unexpected twists and turns and changing relationship dynamics.

As a disclaimer, there will be SPOILERS for the entirety of the first season of My Adventures with Superman. There will also be some spoilers from other Superman-related content: the DCEU (Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League/Justice League: The Snyder Cut, etc.), the Injustice franchise, Smallville, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, the DCAU (Superman: The Animated Series, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited), and various comics of Superman himself and characters based on him.

Familiar Faces with New Shades and Other Qualifying Characteristics

Familiar energy, with a new paint job

The show introduced some new takes on key characters’ backgrounds and appearances. Lois is now East Asian and more of a tomboy, and Jimmy, much like his Supergirl TV series counterpart, is now Black. We also have Livewire and other villains with different ethnicities, and others being gender-bent, like Heat Wave. Some fans weren’t thrilled.

Well, they can choke. The little issues that exist have nothing to do with the way any of these characters look. These characters, for the most part, all maintain the same spirit of the versions we are accustomed to. They feel like the same people, with some minor exceptions, but we’ll get to that later.

Lois, Clark, and Clois

Clark is once again the big, tall, very handsome, mild-mannered, and well-meaning small-town boy. Lois remains the beautiful, driven, intrepid reporter (well, intern) hungry for a story. The show manages to keep their respective beloved qualities but amp them up to eleven. Now Clark seems even sweeter, almost to the point of being gooey. Lois is much more impulsive and anxious to break stories and make a name for herself. She, along with Clark and Jimmy, are unproven. They are at the bottom, working out of the mailroom, and they need big stories to become respected top reporters. Lois’ drive is the largest of the trio when it comes to reporting.

As for the budding relationship between Lois and Clark, this time around we see more chemistry and sparks flying right away, though it still takes some time for them to admit feelings for one another. Their traditional banter is downplayed, likely in part because they both start out in humble beginnings. Traditionally, Lois is already established as a seasoned reporter (and some versions already with at least one Pulitzer) when she gets saddled with newbie reporter Clark Kent from bum-fuck-nowhere. She snaps at him, calls him ‘Smallville’, and tells him not to get in her way.

Here, Lois understands that she needs Jimmy and Clark to break the big stories and is much more willing to work as a team, as they are all in the same boat. It is nice, however, that Perry (also Black, like his DCEU counterpart) established right away that Lois has been an intern for a year, while Clark and Jimmy are brand new, so she still has a little seniority over them. Either way, the friendship dynamic between the three feels natural, as does the inevitable love connection between Lois and Clark.

Black Jimmy 2.0: Is He Better Than the First Model?

(top) My Adventures with Superman‘s Jimmy Olsen, (bottom) Supergirl and the DC CW’s James Olsen

In a word, yes. In two, hell yes. Nice for the latest version of the character. Sad for Mechad Brooks and fans of that world and his character. James Olsen of the DC CW was treated horribly. James was stripped of almost anything resembling Jimmy Olsen as a longstanding comic character. Many fans felt Mechad was cast and written to be a hunk to win Supergirl’s affection. And when the show moved from NBC to the CW, he abruptly ceased that function too. Instead, he became a boss with little to do, relationships no one cared about, a superhero arc that was derided by the title character, and then put on a bus to nowhere.

Meanwhile, this new animated Jimmy feels like Jimmy, but like Lois, he is amped up. Still a goober and goofy as hell, geeky, and a little annoying (let’s face it, most traditional Jimmy Olsen’s are), Jimmy here is also a massive conspiracy theorist. A believer in aliens and bigfoot, among other things, Jimmy is definitely the member of the trio with the most open mind. Sadly because he is also the third wheel, he is also often the odd man out. He rightfully feels betrayed when his friends literally fail to show up for him. Aside from his own usefulness as a photographer and reporter, the show did a wonderful twist with the reveal that Jimmy already knew Clark had powers even before the first episode. Hungry for more clicks on his Flamebird channel, he could have easily exposed Clark for clicks but didn’t. That’s loyalty.

How Does This Lois Stack Up to Other Iconic Lois’s

(top left) DCAU Lois Lane voiced by Dana Delany, (top right) Teri Hatcher as Lois from Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, (bottom left) Amy Adams as Lois from the DCEU, (bottom center) Lois from My Adventures with Superman, (bottom right) Erica Durance as Lois from Smallville

Some Great Lanes

Dana Delany remains the very best voice for Lois Lane of all time. Teri Hatcher was the perfect marriage between Silver Age Lois the reporter and Lois Lane the modern woman. Amy Adams was a very strong Lois Lane (though saddled with some unsavory choices, like giving up her job when Clark died). Erica Durance was the perfect Pre-52 modern Lois, the fighter and army brat as well as reporter.

This New Lane

Our new Lois has shades of some of these other Lois’s and perhaps even more. Like Smallville‘s Lois, she is more tomboyish. She is also very driven and determined like all Lois’s and a very hard worker, hungry for a big story. She also learns who Superman is very early on a lot like the DCEU version. The main difference here is that we still had some time for Lois to meet and interact with Clark beforehand. This gave traditionalist fans some comfort in that familiar dynamic.

However, it is still refreshing to see her figure it out with her reporter skills. In the very next episode, she grills Jimmy for Clark’s whereabouts coinciding with Superman’s activities. It very much gave Silver Age Lois Lane where Lois would try to prove Clark is Superman. Ultimately, much like Chloe Sullivan from Smallville and Jimmy on this show, Lois decided not to tell Clark she knew until he was ready to tell her himself.

The new Lois is just that, new. So time will tell if she too will become as iconic as other Lois’s. So far, it’s looking pretty good.

Tech-Based Villains

(top left) The General, (top center) Livewire, (top right) Dr. Ivo/Parasite, (bottom left) Silver Banshee, (bottom center) Deathstroke, (bottom right) Heat Wave

It is interesting as a concept that most of the villains with any sort of powers come from alien tech. Smallville was famous for having their villains of the week owing their powers to kryptonite exposure. Most of the villains are enjoyable, though some just feel like basic adaptations with little more than similar names and abilities. Livewire, for example, is named Leslie Willis and uses electricity, but there is little known about her. Was she ever fame-hungry? She doesn’t necessarily need to be a radio personality or podcaster, but her desire for notoriety and power are core elements of her traditional personality. Her attire suggests she might be military or ex-military. What if she wanted to be the top cadet or soldier? What if she wanted the most medals of honor and got carried away in that pursuit? We should explore.

Others are fine, but I would like more variety with power sources. Silver Banshee is a literal demon in the comics. Her power comes from magic. Superman doesn’t do well against magic. Her being just another tech villain is a missed opportunity to demonstrate this fact.

Otherwise, the General, and maybe Ivo remain some of the better villains. The others work fine and have their moments, but I just don’t know enough about them to feel connected.

My One Real Concern. Please, God… NO MORE EVIL SUPERMAN!

(top left) Superboy-Prime, (top center) DCEU Superman, (top right) Injustice Superman, (middle left) Red Son Superman, (center) Justice Lords’ Superman, (middle right) Brightburn, (lower left) Omni-Man, (lower middle) Homelander, (lower right) King Hyperion

One of the later episodes of the season of this show revealed to Lois and the audience that Superman isn’t always good. There are worlds in which he is evil and the world’s biggest threat. Humanity is a cornerstone of Superman’s character, and humanity comes with darkness. Even the best versions of the character have been tempted or corrupted (if not by red kryptonite, then a spell, mind control, or deception) by the dark side. This is not a bad thing. No one can be all good or all bad all the time. There needs to be nuance.

Evil Superman stories can be fascinating if handled well. Some of the examples above are handled very well. However, these stories are simply being done to death at this point. Some of them are still ongoing! The main appeal of My Adventures with Superman is that it is very light and an enjoyable, easy watch. Bringing back dark, doom and gloom DC, yet again… is not an easy watch. Sometimes it’s fine to let Batman have the darkness and Superman have the light. It’s also okay to remember that Wonder Woman is a warrior and that she, not Clark, makes the most narrative sense to snap a neck as a last resort. But that’s another article for another day.

In Conclusion…

This show is a lot of fun. All of the talent involved do a great job and the show is easy to enjoy. It provides the kind of whimsy that is absent in a lot of DC content not aimed directly at kids. It is also edgy enough to satisfy fans who need a little spice with their sweet. The key characters ring true, and while some of the villains feel one-note, that can hopefully change down the line.

If you like the relationship between Superman and Lois, try this show. If you like funny, a little silly, and a little serious mixed up, check it out. If you like tall, well-built men who are kind and obliviously sexy (Clark is shirtless at one point and his body is lovingly illustrated), give it a whirl. If you like Superman, it will most likely strike your fancy.

Check out My Adventures with Superman on Max. Let me know what you think about it in the comments.

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Everything Wrong With The Originals

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(from left to right) Davina Claire, Sophie Deveraux, Elijah Mikaelson, Marcel Gerard, Rebekah Mikaelson, Hayley Marshall-Kenner, Klaus Mikaelson, and Camille O’Connell.

An Important Note

This review was published during the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes of 2023. The work being reviewed would not be possible without the labor of writers and actors. We support the writers and unions that protect the creatives of our favorite projects. We stand in solidarity with them.

Intro and Disclaimer

A spin-off of The Vampire Diaries, which I also despise, The Originals managed to avoid some of the more melodramatic teen drama elements of its predecessor series, but amplified other ones that began there. Once again, the lore established here was very strong, particularly when it came to the magic and its many rules, functions, and types. Acting performances were usually very strong, though in some cases often a bit too strong and bordering hammy *cough cough Klaus*. Whereas romantic love seemed to be the main theme of Vampire Diaries, this series focused primarily on the themes of family, legacy, and heritage.

But the show had racist implications, overtones, and undertones. We again buried gays, but at least here there were a lot more and they (even the men) got to be more intimate with each other. There were also massive plot holes and continuity errors. However, in this article, I want to focus mostly on the messed up racial dynamics and situations that took place that many in the fandom choose to explain away or ignore.

Just like with my Vampire Diaries article, this is not an exhaustive list of everything wrong with The Originals. We would be here for days if I did that.

An Exceptionally Overpowered White Family

(clockwise from left) Hope Mikaelson, Hayley Marshall-Kenner, Freya Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, and Klaus Mikaelson. Marcel is curiously absent…

The Mikaelson Family is the original family of vampires and the progenitors of all vampires in the Vampire Diaries universe. They have existed for about one thousand years. They are mostly Vikings. As vampires grow stronger with age, they are physically the strongest vampires in existence, those still around anyway. The Original vampires are immune to the conventional means of killing vampires. Only wood from a White Oak tree can kill them. Klaus destroyed all traces of White Oak, so nothing can kill them now. That is until the series finale, that is.

Extremely overpowered, the Mikaelson Family has given into baser instincts and fucked up the lives of countless people, making various enemies. They also often wonder why so many people hate them. Why should people be sorry that some immortal assholes with superpowers slaughtered the people they loved for food, kicks, or sheer boredom?

The Mikaelsons being unkillable, namely, Klaus, makes them boring and lowers the stakes considerably. Most times antagonists merely cause them pain, inconvenience them, or go after people they care about who can die. People who love to bitch and moan about Jean Grey or Wonder Woman being overpowered should meet these jerks.

The Marcel Problem

Marcel and his adoptive father Klaus

The Originals established that Klaus adopted a young biracial slave, whom he named Marcellus (better known as Marcel). Marcel had been the son of a slave master who had r*ped a slave, leading to his conception. The boy’s biological father didn’t acknowledge him because he was Black. Klaus adopted the boy, raised him, and later turned him into a vampire when he became an adult. Marcel stayed with Klaus and his siblings until the Mikaelsons fled from the return of their father Mikael hellbent on eradicating all vampires, but them in particular.

Marcel stayed behind in New Orleans and eventually managed to take over the area and become king. Klaus, now free from fleeing from his father returned to see what Marcel accomplished. Klaus for some reason decided not to be proud of his son and his accomplishments and decided he needed to be king and take everything away from Marcel. The series sees Klaus, Elijah, and other Mikaelsons going against Marcel. They kill his friends and subordinates. They treat him like shit despite the fact that they raised him from childhood. Even worse, Klaus’ biological child takes precedence over Marcel and the narrative frequently ignores the fact that Marcel is Klaus’ son in many ways including his romantic relationship with his adoptive aunt Rebekah. But more on those later.

Hayley is Family, But Not Marcel

Klaus and a pregnant Hayley

While the Mikaelsons closed ranks on Marcel, they welcomed Hayley with open arms. All because she and Klaus hooked up one time during The Vampire Diaries prior to the spin-off and the writers decided a vampire/werewolf hybrid (but still a vampire as he is undead) should be able to procreate (very Twilight of them). Elijah, in particular, falls in love with Hayley when he realizes that her child with his brother might finally redeem him. Ew. She gave them Hope (pun intended) and thus she’s cool.

Elijah Only Values Whiteness and Blood Relation

Marcel killed from behind by Elijah (Marcel gets better)

Elijah only saw value in Marcel because he thought the boy (and later man) might be the key to redeeming Klaus. Marcel couldn’t redeem Klaus because Klaus is a fucking bloodthirsty psychopath and nothing will change that. It was never Marcel’s job or purpose to redeem a man several lifetimes older than him. Nevertheless, Elijah felt Marcel’s only purpose in existence was null and void. He said to Marcel in a later season “you are not wanted, needed, or welcome.” Sounds about alt-white.

Great White Hope

Hope Mikaelson as a child (right), and a teenager (left)

Much like Renessme from Twilight, this character should not exist. Normally, I despise people who complain about women characters being “too strong”, but since Hope is the embodiment of the worst family ever, I am complaining here too. She is the first “tribrid” in existence: a powerful witch and granddaughter of the “original witch” Esther (who wasn’t even the first witch, but whatever), daughter of the original hybrid Klaus, and daughter of Hayley’s royal werewolf bloodline.

The real reason I can’t stand Hope and exclusively refer to her as ‘Great White Hope’ is because she is considered by the narrative, the fandom, and most of the characters outside of Klaus to be Klaus’ only child. She is of the right blood. Also, she is white. This not only elevates her importance based on the fact that she is biological but also the right color (or lack thereof). Her biology also grants her obnoxious god-like power. Meanwhile, most of the Mikaelson family refuse to even acknowledge Marcel as Klaus’ son on the basis of biology. This is already fucked up because adoption matters, but implicitly his race also discounts it.

Marcel and Rebekah… As a Couple

(top) Marcel as the child adopted into the family, (bottom) Marcel and Rebekah as he became a man

Marcel and Rebekah having a sexual and romantic relationship was the first sign that the narrative didn’t truly consider Marcel Klaus’ son. It moreso seemed to regard him as a ward. However, at multiple points, Klaus explains to Elijah, Hayley, and others that he saw Marcel as his son. Rebekah and the others clearly didn’t agree. Plus somehow Rebekah must’ve never seen Marcel as her nephew despite helping raise him from a young age. At best, Marcel’s race and lack of blood relation meant she simply never considered him family to her, which would be horrible enough. At worst, she saw him as family when he was young, but once he was older and hot, she didn’t anymore. That would feel a lot like grooming…

I have to note that Klaus strongly opposed Marcel and Rebekah being together, but it was played/implied more as ‘you, Negro, are not worthy of my white sister’ and Klaus being angry with Marcel for overstepping, rather than Klaus feeling as though this is incest and/or grooming.

Either way, the show sometimes reinforced Marcel as Klaus’ son through occasional dialogue from Klaus himself, meanwhile they carried on with Rebekah and Marcel as a couple. They married. Disgusting.

Elijah’s Disposable Ethnic Love Interests

(top left) Celeste Dubois’ original body, (top right) Celeste Dubois possessing Sabine Laurent, (top left) Gia, (bottom right) Aya Al-Rashid (bottom right).

Elijah has had several love interests spanning The Vampire Diaries and The Originals. Of his white love interests, there was Tatia, Katherine Pierce, Elena Gilbert, and Hayley Marshall-Kenner. All of them, some more than others, were given the kind of attention, care, focus, and gravitas of any major Vampire Diaries or The Originals love.

However, his Black and ethnic love interests didn’t get the je ne sais quoi the white ones got. He got over Celeste quickly, maybe because she was evil (but so was Katherine). He did mourn Gia for a few episodes when she died, but he got over it. Meanwhile, Cami died and Klaus never fully forgot or got over her. Aya had very valid reasons for wanting to be free of him and his sire line. He forgot her too.

Keelin, Freya, and the Stockholm Syndrome Romance From Hell

(top) Keelin, kidnapped by Freya and the Mikaelsons, with a device to sap her werewolf venom over her mouth. (bottom) Keelin marrying her kidnapper and torturer.

Sometimes the ends don’t justify the means. Freya and her family kidnapped this doctor. They put a device over her mouth while she was tied up. All while she was played by a Black actress. The writers either somehow didn’t know the racial implications of a Black person being held captive with advice forcibly put over their mouth. It was giving dog-muzzle. But who cares? Keelin fell for Freya, and vice versa, anyway! Plus another important queer couple comes about!

I can’t decide if this twisted, fucked up “romance” is better or worse than simply burying the gays…

Black Witches Literally Used for Their Bodies and Talents…

(left) Eva Sinclair possessed by Rebekah, (center) Lenore possessed by Esther, (right) Vincent Griffith possessed by Finn.

Just when I thought The Vampire Diaries slaughtering Black and ethnic characters left and right and having Bonnie be the Magical Negro (while also slaughtering her from time to time) was bad, we get this shit. Maybe the writers thought that because not all of the witches possessed by formerly-deceased Mikaelsons were Black, we should ignore the ones that were. But I refuse.

Sure Kol possessed a white boy witch, and Lenore wasn’t Esther’s only host, but this shit is still racist and fucked up. White vampires (or spirits, rather) possessing and literally using Black bodies as meat puppets, human shields (as, if the host dies, it doesn’t necessarily kill the spirit, they can get a new host), and using their natural talents for their own. White vampires (except Esther who was herself a witch) using the magic of these Black witches is literally magical or supernatural cultural appropriation. The Originals established that much of the magic of the witches is ancestral. Do these Black witches not have Black ancestors..?

Aside from Vincent, who goes on to be a series regular and a fascinating character in his own right, the other possessed witches simply get killed off and the spirits largely get their original bodies back.

In Conclusion

(from left to right) Klaus, Marcel, Freya, Elijah, Hayley, and Vincent.

There are a lot of problems with this show despite some interesting concepts and solid performances. This and Vampire Diaries have extensive problems when it comes to race. With Julie Plec as the showrunner of both series, it comes as no surprise.

The writers have often claimed to have colorblind casting and views, but the moment they made Marcel a slave who was also the product of r*pe, they made it about race. When it comes to created characters, nothing happens by accident or “naturally”. This is curated work, and curated work is created by choices.

In speaking of choices, there will not be an article about the third series of this universe, Legacies. The reason is simply that I sat through two series by people I hate and dealt with racism and plot holes and terrible popular ships already. I choose not to watch a show starring Great White Hope and her adventures. Even I have my limits.

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Everything Wrong With The Vampire Diaries

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(from left to right) Caroline Forbes, Damon Salvatore, Jeremy Gilbert, Bonnie Bennett, Stefan Salvatore, and Elena Gilbert.

An Important Note

This review was published during the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes of 2023. The work being reviewed would not be possible without the labor of writers and actors. We support the writers and unions that protect the creatives of our favorite projects. We stand in solidarity with them.

Intro and Disclaimer

The Vampire Dairies is something that had me in a chokehold for years. It has also long been the thorn in my side. It had interesting lore and characters. There was cheesy romance, hot people making out, and lots of violence and gore, for network tv. I genuinely had some good times with it. However, I also found myself rolling my eyes, scratching my head, and screaming in frustration more than once.

I have mixed feelings about this show, but mostly negative. The mistreatment of Black and queer characters was offensive. The worst ships and most annoying characters overstayed their welcome. They diminished characters that could’ve been great.

This article is about everything I found wrong with this series the most. There are more problems with this series technically and creatively than I could possibly list. The article would never end.

The most important thing is to know who to blame. A show with some of the worst problems, and one of the most toxic fandoms ever to exist. Julie Plec.

Racism in Mystic Falls

And Bonnie just… doesn’t care about the Confederacy reenactment…

Let’s begin with one of the biggest issues of all. Julie Plec and company changed the origins of Stefan and Damon Salvatore from the Italian Renaissance to… the Civil War… Guisseppe Salvatore, their father, for some reason, was all about the Confederacy and Damon enlisted to please him. Yikes. Later seasons would retcon Damon as a Confederate loafer and deserter. Yet Stefan would later cite Damon’s involvement as a positive because it “pleased their father”.

Julie… are you okay???

Tyler Lockwood (pictured above in Confederate garb) is probably the wealthiest person in town and his mother, Carol, talks about their lovely antebellum structure and the parties they would have. Tyler mentioned cells below, with chains, and Carol says “We don’t talk about those rooms”. Mind you, these chains were for the Lockwoods being werewolves. But this is also an antebellum house, in the racist South… so it can definitely be inferred that the cells and chains served more than one purpose. Not to mention the implications either way. Carol also claimed, “People don’t like to reminisce about the slave days”. Which people, Carol? Because I highly doubt you, your family, or your peers happily taking part in antebellum-styled social events, dresses, and curls take issue with that.

Bonnie’s Mistreatment

She couldn’t have anything…

The horrendous mistreatment of Bonnie Bennett could easily fill a book. Bonnie, who was a white redhead in the books, became a Black girl in the show and the most powerful person in the main cast. And what did Bonnie do with all that power most of the time? Serve, rescue, and help her white friends out of jams. Very rarely were Bonnie’s motivations or goals explored. She had to be there to help the writers out of corners they wrote themselves into and to prop up her friends. Bonnie got the weakest of romantic options, which I will get into later because that is important in this show. Plus the wigs they forced poor Kat to wear were often horrendous.

Her Magic

Bonnie’s powers were impressive but often inconsistent. Her own powers knocked her out. There were weird rules and consequences to using her magic that didn’t seem to affect other witches. She rarely got to take out any enemies at all even on a casual basis, despite her many powers. Elena. Elena of all people, got more action and took out more enemies. Caroline too saw a lot of action sequences. Bonnie mainly got to do big rituals for narrative purposes. They were not to really make her look badass. It’s like every white person got to flex and be cool. But Bonnie was just a tool, used and ignored.

Plus they took away her powers, often for seasons at a time! She died and became the ‘anchor’, so she wasn’t a witch anymore and had no magic powers. Then she had to give up her powers later on and didn’t get them back until Enzo died. With telekinesis and pyrokinesis, among other things, Bonnie should have been taking out vampires and other enemies left and right, but Plec just couldn’t let Bonnie be as cool as any other character, especially the white ones. Rebekah, Katherine, Damon, Stefan, Klaus, Elijah, Caroline, and even Elena and Jeremy had to outshine her in action sequences.

The Ships

The shipping wars

The Vampire Dairies mostly developed or elevated characters through their romantic relationships. Yes, the show was also heavily about supernatural lore, the history of the town and characters, and the actions and motivations of the characters themselves. But as a teen drama, the relationships were very much at the forefront, or at the very least everpresent alongside the other elements.

Delena and Stelena

The most popular ship seems to be Delena: Elena and Damon. It was the classic “good girl and bad boy” as well as the human girl/supernatural boy pairing. But it was terrible and obnoxious. It did not make sense with who these two characters were. Elena wanted normalcy and agency. Damon loved being a vampire and wanted to take control and had no problem taking Elena’s choices away when it suited him. While Stefan was boring, he cared about Elena and respected her choices. He too also wanted to be normal again and didn’t like being a vampire. He and Elena were the most compatible.

Bamon

Meanwhile, Bonnie and Damon were also a ship from the books the show was based on, but Plec and company saw fit to avoid them getting together at all costs. Despite Damon having been a Confederate as well as a (mostly formerly) sadistic vampire, Damon would have been a great asset to Bonnie’s character. He was the most popular character in the show, and anyone paired with him got screen time and development. This would have elevated her. Most Bamon fans didn’t want it to happen because they thought Damon was worthy of Bonnie or deserved her, it was about what the ship would have done for her character.

And if there had been Black writers worth a damn in charge, Bonnie and Damon could have unpacked how and why his involvement in the Confederacy was fucked up and what that meant for people like her and her ancestors he knew (namely Emily). Despite all of that, Damon and Bonnie still managed to be more viable for a romantic relationship anyway because their friendship took seasons to develop. One-sided fear, to enemies, to grudging respect, to genuine concern, to deep friendship. When Elena was basically dead, Bonnie and Damon had the perfect opportunity to get together. But the writers felt that the most popular character should mope and cry for two more seasons than be sexy and eligible again.

Other Ships

Klaus and Caroline were also popular but their ship, like Delena for Damon, make Klaus a softie for a teenager rather than the badass he should have been. Matt and Caroline were sweet, but it was puppy love and not meant to last.

They handed Jeremy to Bonnie like an afterthought. She was his third choice after Vicky and Anna. He also cheated on Bonnie with Anna’s ghost. They gave her Luka, which didn’t even really happen and then quickly he died. Her sorta-stepbrother Jamie disappeared from the show and was never mentioned again. Bonnie wasn’t even Enzo’s first choice! He was sweating Caroline, but the fans didn’t like it so they killed that. Then he wanted Stefan and Damon’s mom but they killed her. And then time skip and… and he and Bonnie are soulmates??? Zero development, zero buildup. They’re “in love”. And she didn’t even get that because Enzo also dies. Worst of all, he becomes a ghost and he’s invisible to her… despite the fact that she’s both a psychic and a witch and has been able to see ghosts the entire series…

Disposable Black Characters (Mostly Witches)

(top left) Gloria, (top center) Bree, (top right) Emily Bennett, (center left) Lucy Benett, (center) Rudy Hopkins, (center right) Jamie, (bottom left) Greta Martin, (bottom center) Jonas Martin, (bottom right) Luka Martin.

Literally, all of these characters (except for Jamie who just disappeared from the show) all died. Some of them died in the same episode they appeared. Gloria and Bree were witches who were antagonists for only an episode, so it makes sense. The main insult is that powerful witch Gloria couldn’t tell “Elena” was Katherine and a vampire. I know witches aren’t inherently psychic… but couldn’t she sense the power or evil of Katherine..? As for Bree, she didn’t even use her powers at all before Damon violently killed her and she went out pleading… what a waste of Gina Torres! Emily died offscreen, but she was basically Katherine’s slave… even if the wiki wanted to say “handmaiden”. Sure, Jan.

Lucy promised to come back and see Bonnie… back in season two. She isn’t mentioned again until season 7 where it’s revealed she died and then her ghost is shown helping Bonnie in the series finale… yay. Rudy Hopkins, Bonnie’s dad is the only Black character besides Bonnie with any real import because he got to be mayor for a while… until he was violently murdered in front of the entire town who was mind controlled not to react or do anything… Plec sure loves killing Black people in fucked up ways! Just like the entire Martin family in season two. All dead. All forgotten.

And then there’s More…

There are more dead Black witches and characters than I showed here. Many of the witches were just slaughtered by (mostly white) vampires, despite having powers literally designed to kill them. Even Gloria could have stopped playing around with her enemies and actually set their asses on fire or telekinetically threw stakes in their chests, but no… death for her instead. I guess in a show where everyone dies, it doesn’t matter when you kill off marginalized people..? Speaking of marginalized…

All Four LGBTQ Characters of Note… All Dead

(top left) Bill Forbes, (top right) Lucas “Luke” Parker, (bottom left) Nora Hildegard, (bottom right) Mary Louise.
Bill Forbes

Bill Forbes, Caroline’s dad, was originally mentioned as a throwaway line/dig from Caroline to her mother “If I want advice about guys, I’ll call dad. At least he’s successfully dating one”. Ooh, burn! Caroline’s mom lost her man to another man! How hilarious!!! It gets… so much worse when we meet him. Bill’s storyline is a gay conversion storyline in which he, a gay human, is figuratively straight and homophobic wants to “cure” his daughter, a straight vampire, into being human again… via torture. Shocker, it doesn’t work.

Later Bill dies because he is in the process of becoming a vampire (against his will) and refuses to complete the transition, opting to die instead. It’s like the only way to survive is to be “gay” one time, but he’s like “No!!!!” and he dies. His boyfriend is mentioned but never appears and when Bill is about to die, Caroline asks if she wants her to call him so they can talk, and he says no… because they haven’t spoken in a while… Amazing gay representation.

Luke Parker

Luke, like his twin sister and other family members, was a powerful witch. He was also gay, which we knew because he announces to his sister “I’m gay, and your brother”. She was about to get dressed and he was just in her room and was annoyed, and that line was his rebuttal. As if you being gay and someone’s brother means it’s not still creepy or a violation of privacy to just be in people’s spaces unannounced where they could get or be naked.

I’m gay and my sister’s brother, but I do not want to see her in any state of undress and would be deeply uncomfortable if she just changed in front of me. Luke also mentions an ex as well as a hot radiologist we never see. In college, he was never shown kissing or interacting with any guys in any romantic or sexual way, while Elena and Damon smashed every episode.

Nora and Mary Louise

These two lesbian heretics (siphoner witches, aka witches who have to absorb magic in order to use it, as well as vampires, the combination meaning they absorb the magic in their own vampire blood in order to use magic all the time while also having vampire powers) were cute, but they were in one of the worst seasons. In general, villains worked best when they were independent (with the Original Family of vampires being the only exception, but they were also fleshed out individually). But groups of villains never worked well, namely the Travelers and the Heretics. Unlike the other gay characters of import, Nora and Mary Louise did show physical affection and kisses, and they were in love onscreen together.

But they also died together not long after reuniting after a falling out. Bury Your Gays on top of all your racist tropes and bad ships… oh Julie, you’re like the gift that keeps on taking.

Katherine, Stefan, and the Series Finale

From badass a vampire to being held in place to be consumed by hellfire.
Katherine

Katherine Pierce was the character that really showcased Nina Dobrev’s range as an actress. She was badass, fun, and very powerful. More powerful than the vampires she made, Stefan and Damon. As I mentioned in my Iconic TV Villains article, I love seeing women vampires being stronger than the men they made who always seem to forget how vampire aging works and that they cannot defeat vampires older than them (strength-wise) let alone their own sires. But boy do they try anyway…

I couldn’t put any of the Vampire Diaries characters in my previous article because they either became woobies for love and thus less threatening or enjoyable (Damon and Klaus), they came in aspiring to go to the prom and dances despite being a thousand years old (Rebekah) or showed racist tendencies that were not taken seriously by the writers or fandom (Elijah, more on this in my article on The Originals coming up).

In Katherine’s case, while being enjoyable ninety-nine percent of the time, her ending sucked. No longer a vampire stronger than the vampires who weren’t the Originals, Katherine was just grabbed and manhandled without a fight, and burned. She was allegedly the “queen of hell” who got over on Cade (who was basically the devil) but she had no real powers to defend herself or raise hell (no pun intended).

Stefan

Stefan too. Long brooding, long suffering from the guilt of his actions as a vampire, decided he needed to die for his brother and the woman he loved to be together. He forced-fed his brother the cure in his blood and held Katherine as they died together. Mind you this was right after he just married Caroline, his consolation prize because the woman he really loved decided she loved his brother instead. Stefan, a man who always wanted to be human, never wanted to be a vampire, loved Elena and wanted a normal life… sacrificed his life so that his brother, who loved being a vampire, could have a normal life with someone who wanted different things from him… glorious.

In Conclusion

(from left to right) Bonnie Bennett, Damon Salvatore, Matt Donovan, Caroline Forbes, Tyler Lockwood, Jeremy Gilbert, Alaric Saltzman, Elena Gilbert, Enzo St. John, and Stefan Salvatore.

This show lives rent-free in my mind. It’s a part of me now. It’s not a welcome thing, as it has been a near-constant source of ire for me. It might be due to the years-long outrage I’ve had over it. Maybe it’s my love/protectiveness over Kat Graham and the character of Bonnie that had me watch the entire series at all. Either way, this series was very polarizing for me, and it did far more harm than good for Black and queer representation.

I will always have rants about this shit show, and I will always have hate in my heart for Julie Plec, Caroline Dries, and the other creatives involved that ignited one of the worst fandoms I ever experienced. The treatment of Bonnie and Kat Graham is also one of the first things that made me really see that the CW definitely has an antiblack problem.

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Iconic TV Villains

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(upper left) John Glover as Lionel Luthor on Smallville, (upper right) Lana Parilla as Regina Mills/The Evil Queen from ABC’s Once Upon a Time, (lower left) James Marsters as Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, (lower right) Alice Eve as Mary Walker aka Typhoid Mary from Iron Fist season two.

Paying It Forward

This review was published during the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes of 2023. The work being reviewed would not be possible without the labor of writers and actors. We support the writers and unions that protect the creatives of our favorite projects. We stand in solidarity with them.

Intro and Disclaimer

A great villain can make even the most insufferable of projects, protagonists (*cough* *cough* Danny Rand), or plot points all the more watchable. Great villains can make us laugh, cry, rage, leer, or even recognize some of the disturbing sides of ourselves. There are villains we love to hate. Villains we actively root for, whether it means reveling in villainy or becoming redeemed. In my opinion, the best villains make you feel all kinds of things. But above all they make you think. Are they evil? Maybe, maybe not. Are their actions at least understandable? Let’s explore some badass, morally gray, or ethically bereft people featured in various TV series.

Much like my article on memorable queer characters in TV, this list is subjective. This is one thousand percent my own opinion and biases. I have not seen every show and have not experienced all of the same villains as others. I might not have seen some of your personal faves. This list is also not exhaustive, as I have seen countless shows in my lifetime. Let me know in the comments if you would like more installments on this particular topic. We could probably get many more parts.

There may be spoilers for the shows Smallville, True Blood, Killing Eve, Breaking Bad, Marvel’s Daredevil, Marvel’s Jessica Jones, Marvel’s Luke Cage, Marvel’s Iron Fist, Game of Thrones, The Boys, Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Charmed (1998), Once Upon a Time, Rosewell, and Heroes.

Smallville: Lex and Lionel Luthor

(left) Michael Rosenbaum as Alexander “Lex” Luthor, (right) John Glover as Lionel Luthor
Lex Luthor

Smallville’s Lex Luthor is THEE best live-action Lex Luthor we have ever had. Fight me in the street.

The slow-burn approach from friendship to bitter enemies between Clark and Lex was truly amazing. It made the inevitable beef all the more tragic and personal. Lex was a very complex and layered character. He was spoiled (yet emotionally neglected), entitled, brash, a complete genius, and damaged, but also noble at times. Lex wanted to be the kind of man Clark always was. He also wanted to win the trust and love of Clark’s family and friends. Unfortunately, the Luthor conditioning was too deep. Lex slowly but surely embraced the savagery and deception that came with it.

Lionel Luthor

Lionel was in a lot of ways foreshadowing of who Lex would become. All smiles and charm on the outside, Lionel was corrupt, calculating, devious, and mostly unempathetic. Lionel showed genuine interest in Martha Kent. He also showed rare glimpses of actual concern for Lex. However, Lionel was mostly rotten to the core, up until a failed body swap plot. This cured an incurable disease and filled him with the kind of love and empathy he never knew before. He even became an honest ally for Clark and his allies. However, even after this development, his rage and conniving never fully went away. We saw this when he forced Lana to fulfill her promise to Lex in season six.

Lex and Lionel’s relationship serves as the main foil to the loving, wholesome relationship of the Kent Family. The Luthors knew very little of genuine love. Lionel was extremely a*usive towards Lex most of his life. This helped usher in the devilish chess master who would emerge as the series went on.

The only truly good Luthor was Lex’s sister.

True Blood: Maryann Forrester, Russell Edgington & Lorena Krasiki

(left) Denis O’Hare as Russell Edgington, (center) Michelle Forbes as Maryann Forrester, (right) Mariana Kiaveno as Lorena Krasiki

True Blood’s second season was their best, and Maryann was largely the reason for it. Fun, engaging, creepy as fuck, and the living embodiment of chaos and debauchery. Maryann literally brought out the worst in everyone around her. She was an incredibly powerful and effective villain, and she was a villainess to boot! What joy! She could only be stopped when she believed she could be stopped.

Russell Edgington too was an iconic villain, and the very next just behind Maryann. Charming, jovial, brutal, and chilling, though shorter in stature compared to several characters, he was god-like in strength. He was the definition of a Badass Gay, practically unstoppable and completely devoted to his ill-fated paramour, Talbot. The best thing about him was his actor. O’Hare always plays bad oh so well.

While devoted to Bill Compton, of all people, Lorena was the quintessential bad girl badass vampire sire. Much like Darla from Buffy and Angel or Katherine Pierce from The Vampire Diaries, it was lovely to see her be stronger than the series lead male. Seeing him try and miserably fail to physically overpower her brought me pure joy. While it was pathetic to see her so hellbent on getting Bill, the show established right away that the maker/progeny bond is powerful and beyond human comprehension. Lorena, like Lestat or even Eric Northman, was a vampire who reveled in her vampirism. I wish for nothing but laughs and joy for Lorena, Darla, and Katherine in some bar in the afterlife.

Breaking Bad: Gus Fring and Walter White

(left) Giancarlo Esposito as Gustavo “Gus” Fring, (right) Bryan Cranston as Walter White
Gus Fring

Gus Fring is one of the very best written, developed, and performed villains in tv history. He is also Giancarlo Esposito’s most famous role to date. Fring is the epitome of the consummate professional, on the surface at least. Affable, punctual, professional, and ever-present at his chain of fried chicken restaurants. He wears that god-awful yellow shirt and a smile on his face and serves customers. However, Gus used his restaurants as a legitimate front for a drug empire. He took his anger out on employees when customers weren’t around to witness. Fring also had some of his own employees deported. He threatened to have Walter’s family murdered. Oh, and he was also a murderer. Fring was terrifying in how suddenly his faux smile would fade. His ultimate exit from the show will go down in history as one of the most memorable.

Walter White

Meanwhile, series protagonist himself, whose actor you might know as the frazzled, bumbling, yet ultimately good-natured father from Malcolm in the Middle, plays a very bad guy here. Though nuanced and not always a total monster like several of the other villains of the show, Breaking Bad ultimately reveals itself to be White’s villain origin story. He blackmailed Jesse to cook meth with him in the first place. Walt had laundromat employees deported. He barged his way back into his wife’s life after she understandably wanted him out. Let’s not forget he forced Jesse to kill Gale. He too was a murderer. Walt even hired Neo-Nazis to kill prisoners. He bombed a nursing home. In one of his worst moments, Walt let Jane Margolis fatally overdose to keep control over Jesse. The man was evil.

Killing Eve: Konstantin, Villanelle, and Carolyn Martens

(left) Kim Bodna as Konstantin Vasiliev, (center) Jodie Comer as Oksana Astankova aka Villanelle, (right) Fiona Shaw as Carolyn Martens.

As mentioned in my article on memorable queer characters, Killing Eve was at first an iconic piece of work for its initial two seasons. With intelligent writing, especially in its first season under Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s pen, and iconic acting performances, we got a myriad of layered characters.

Konstantin, Villainelle’s handler, was a master liar and manipulator. He was willing to do whatever it took to get what he wanted and took steps to stay ahead of Carolyn and Villanelle. Konstantin used Eve and anyone else to achieve his goals. He also hit Villaielle with that damn log just to get away and left his family to die (thankfully for him Villanelle didn’t kill them).

Villanelle herself was a fascinating look at someone with psychopathic tendencies and complex psychology. She was effective, competent, sapphic, charming, and looking for connection. She wanted Eve from the very start. Eve, with her own interesting psychological profile, often didn’t realize how she poked the bear, despite also risking it all to be near her and completely disrespecting her marriage for her true desire. Eve didn’t want Shepphard’s pie and Nico, she wanted danger and Villanelle. While complex, Villanelle was villainous, namely when she killed people like Bill and her ex Nadia.

Carolyn was initially a badass to aspire to. She was always several moves ahead, was never afraid to call out Eve on her hypocrisy, and played chess with the best of them. Unfortunately, she was ultimately an agent of the patriarchy and killed Villanelle right as she and Eve were going to have a life together. Fuck Carolyn. And fuck Laura Neal.

The Marvel Netflix Villains: Kingpin, Cottonmouth, Typhoid Mary, Kilgrave, & Black Mariah

(top left) Vincent D’noffrio as Wilson Fisk aka Kingpin, (top right) Mahershala Ali as Cornell “Cottonmouth” Stokes, (bottom left) Alice Eve as Mary Walker aka Typhoid Mary, (bottom center) David Tennant as Kevin Thompson aka Kilgrave, (bottom right) Alfre Woodard as Mariah Dillard.

The Marvel Netflix series (aside from Iron Fist) were some of the best, grittiest superhero-related shows we’ve ever had. There are even more villains than listed here, but some were either convoluted as hell with strange choices, such as Elektra being French and her whole “Black Sky” deal.

Kingpin

Kingpin was one of the most complex, sensitive, brilliant, romantic (where Vanessa was concerned, at least), and brutal villains who could utilize spin like no other. He was a villain who was not only an excellent adaptation of the comic character, but is equal parts brain and brawn, chess-mastering his plots to take over the city and its organized crime, and also taking on Daredevil mano-a-mano.

Cottonmouth

Cottonmouth, too, was a corrupt businessman and crime boss who was responsible for unsavory events in Harlem. While he could never physically stand up to Luke Cage, his mind and cunning were more than a match for Cage’s powers. While unfortunate, his ultimate exit from the show was a gutsy move on the writers’ parts that truly impressed, as most shows love to have villains be invincible if they prove popular, even if that doesn’t serve the plot. *cough* *cough* Sylar.

Kilgrave, The Purple Man

Kilgrave, perhaps even greater than Kingpin or Cottonmouth, was the ultimate antithesis of his adversary, Jessica Jones. A literal master manipulator whose powerful mind control powers meant he could use anyone anytime he pleased, his power lay in having people around to control, whereas Jessica’s guilt and trauma led to her routinely pushing people away as much as possible. Jessica Jones season one utilized expert writing, the main character’s trauma, carefully-crafted character development, and lighting and sound design to help Kilgrave’s presence be felt before he even first physically appeared in the present timeline.

Typhoid Mary

Though historically a Daredevil character, Typhoid Mary was introduced in Iron Fist season two. Having no rights to mutants at the time, the MCU version was a human hitwoman with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Deadly in her ‘Walker’ persona, Mary’s ‘Mary’ persona was her innocent primary who disassociated with her violent alter. Alice Eve’s performance was utterly awesome, and Mary was an underrated character saddled to a series with a lead that didn’t deserve her.

Black Mariah

Mariah Dillard, additionally, was an excellent villain saddled with a lackluster lead. Though miles better than Danny Rand, Luke Cage was corny as hell. That dab was nightmare fuel and cringe at the same time. Dillard was a standout along with Misty Knight, Cottonmouth, and others. Her arc with her daughter, another underrated villain, was inspired. Mariah was another publicly altruistic figure who was secretly hateful and scornful of others. Her secretly putting on hand sanitizer with a look of pure contempt after holding a child was a memorable character-establishing moment.

Game of Thrones: Cersei Lannister, Joffrey Baratheon, & Ramsay Bolton

(left) Lena Headey as Cersei Lannister, (center) Jack Gleeson as Joffrey Baratheon, (right) Iwan Rheon as Ramsay Bolton

Game of Thrones once had scores of audiences in a chokehold. It had been one of those shows. Shows competing with movies in theaters in terms of visual quality, expert acting performances, intriguing plots, and the like. While as an adaptation there were problems from the very beginning and people act like problems only came towards the end (a topic for another article), the show always managed to have villains we loved to hate.

Cersei Lannister

The beautiful but horrible Cersei was infamously screwing her own twin brother and he fathered all her children. She stole the Iron Throne multiple times. Cersei helped lead to beloved Ned Stark’s death, blew up the Sept, and killed Margery. Worst of all, she got the most lackluster death not befitting the cretin she was.

Joffrey Baratheon

It only makes sense that Joffrey was a piece of shit, given who his family was. Spoiled, entitled, petulant, and a smirking, sniveling bastard, his death was lauded by nearly everyone in-universe as well as in real life. Never has the death of a teenager been more celebrated. All respect to Gleeson, who said he inspired his performance on Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator. He really did that.

Ramsay Bolton

Just when we thought the Lannisters (some of them anyway) were the worst of the worst, here came this bitch. Ramsay Bolton. His pure sadism and smug expression only added to the horrible things he did to Sansa, a character I always loved in spite of the fandom historically hating her for not being Arya (again a topic for another article). Then he killed poor Rickon! When his evil girlfriend got literally dropped and then he got eaten alive by his own hungry wolves, I cheered. Rest in pieces, muthafucka.

The Boys: Homelander

Anthony Starr as Homelander

While it seems these days we get nothing but evil Superman stories, very few have done it better than The Boys. Really a composite of both Superman and Captain America, two iconic heroes who symbolize the unwavering altruistic goodness of American propaganda, Homelander accurately mirrors the evil that white America has done and often continues to do. Murderous and entitled beyond comprehension with a god complex? If that’s not the status quo, I don’t know what is.

The fact that Homelander is barely held together by the thinnest veneer of heroism, civility, and duty, is just icing on the cake. Also wonderful is the fact that he ultimately wants to be universally loved and feared. All of that and his being handled by corporate powers that be show that he is more than just an evil Superman. He is the very worst of white America given human form. He’s even a r*pist and willingly participated in domestic terrorism.

Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire: Lestat de Lioncourt

Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt

Anne Rice was the queen of vampire literature. She is the one who created, or revolutionized, the sexy vampire bad boy, plus hers were of the homoerotic variety. And no one epitomizes the sexy vampire bad boy better than Lestat. He did it long before Spike, Damon Salvatore, or Klaus Mikelson.

When it was announced that Anne Rice’s famed works would once again be adapted, this time in tv form on AMC, people were nervous. Some folks did not care for it. But a lot of people loved Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire. From incredible performances across the board to racial updates that deepened the lore (especially where Louis was concerned), and a more unambiguously queer love between Lestat and Louis, people were impressed.

Sexy as Lestat, Louis, and their initial chemistry were, the show did an excellent job of showing that a vampire such as Lestat is not one for healthy love. He is a vampire. Vampires are sensation and toxicity incarnate. Their existence is inherently selfish, as they must feed on the living in order to exist. Lestat showed Louis and Claudia time and time again that love and family for vampires are not anything resembling those of humans. Lestat’s looks and charm giving way to his monstrous brutality and savagery was a thing of brilliance.

Buffy the Vampire: Glory, Darla, Angelus, Spike & Drusilla

(top left) Clare Kramer as Glorificus aka Glory, (top right) Julie Benz as Darla, (bottom left) David Boreanaz as Angelus, (bottom right) Juliet Landau as Drusilla, and James Masrten as Spike.

Joss Whedon, as hopefully all of us know by now, is a piece of shit. Unfortunately, he had 90s pop culture in a chokehold with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Its fun heroes, memorable episodes and storylines, and rich lore helped cement its place in pop culture history, let alone supernatural teen dramas. But perhaps some of the strongest elements of Buffy was its villains, namely its big bads.

Glory

Glory was very fun, hilarious, and unexpectedly powerful. Buffy’s face and reaction to learning Glory was no mere demon, but rather an actual god was both funny AF and iconic (“oh”). Up until Glory, the female combatants Buffy faced were either a match (Faith) or not as strong as her (Darla and Drusilla). Glory shrugged off Buffy’s superstrong blows as if they were mere annoyances, sending her flying with her own hits. Glory’s true weakness being that she had to share a body with a human dude was just great.

Darla

Darla is one of pop culture’s first vampire female sires of a popular male vampire character. She used her beauty to lure in men for the kill. In life, she had been a sex worker who was dying of tuberculosis in the 16th century. Because of her profession and her affliction, she was shunned by the church, which instilled a deep hatred for religion. Darla loved religious wars, as they symbolized the ultimate hypocrisy of systems meant to bring salvation to others. She was turned just before death and she reveled in her vampire powers and vitality. Darla eventually met Liam, whom she turned and renamed Angelus. He was the love of her life, displaying a sadistic cruelty that rivaled her own.

Darla is fascinating in that she is the dark shadow Angel could never fully shake. She was the reminder of the evil that begot him, and the evil they did together. Darla was a vampire who loved being bad. She never understood Angel’s curse that left him with both a soul and morality nor his love for Buffy. Darla’s resurrection in Angel’s spin-off showed even more dimensions to her character, as Angel tried desperately to save her life. Her final act of self-sacrifice to allow their son to be born was her one selfless action. But Darla was always her best when she was the dark angel whispering in Angel’s ear and reveling in violence.

Angelus

Angel, the vampire with the soul, is somewhat boring compared to the likes of Spike or even Darla. Angelus is another story. He is more charming, more jovial, more cunning, and above all utterly sadistic. It is when Angel becomes Angelus that we see how Darla fell for him in the first place. While Spike loves pure violence, Angelus loves to torment and spread pure terror and despair above all else. His stalking and eventual attack and turning of Drusilla was the most evident of this.

Angelus works because he is the polar opposite of the sad, brooding, heroic vampire we are generally used to with Angel. He revels in sensation, and denies himself no pleasure. And his greatest pleasure is making people suffer.

Spike

He’s everyone’s favorite vampire in this franchise for a reason. Expertly played by James Marsters, Spike is funny, charismatic, snarky, clever, and resourceful. But he works best, much like Darla, Lestat, Damon, and others, when he’s bad. While Marsters performance means he’s always enjoyable even when he’s a crying mess or pure comic relief.

The main drawback to Spike’s character was that horrible attempted assault scene towards the end of season 6. It was so bad, Marsters put a clause in his contract to never be asked to do another one for any future role or scene. That and the fact that Whedon decided to turn Spike into a total woobie for Buffy’s love. While an attraction is not out of the question, certain pairings work and others don’t. After that attempted assault… everyone should have said no to that ship.

Drusilla

Drusilla had originally been a young maiden on her way to sainthood when she was targeted, attacked, and turned by Angelus. The sheer trauma from the experience as well as her formidable psychic powers paved the way for extensive mental issues and one very unhinged vampire. Drusilla herself had turned Spike and the two became inseparable lovers. They were an iconic chaotic couple alongside Darla and Angelus who were more ordered but equally cruel and bloodthirsty. They were a family.

Drusilla stands out amongst all of the vampires of Buffy and Angel in that she has psychic powers she retained from her humanity, she rarely shows her vampire face, and she was the one who turned Darla back into a vampire when she was resurrected as a human. As Gunn put it, the granddaughter remade the grandmother. Drusilla was the ultimate match for the best version of Spike. They were a delicious pair when they were being bad together.

Charmed: The Source of All Evil, Cole Turner, and the Seer

(left) Bennett Guillory as The Source, (center) Julian McMahon as Cole Turner, (right) Debbi Morgan as The Seer.
The Source

The Source of All Evil, often simply called The Source, is Charmed‘s answer to the devil. He often worked from the shadows to scheme against the sisters, and it was he who sent Shax to kill Prue. The Source was one of the first recurring threats and a big bad for the series. The main shame is that his big return in later seasons was a letdown, as he died almost immediately before doing anything effective.

Cole Turner

Cole Turner was the great love of Phoebe Halliwell’s life. Though not the final love, Cole was the one who spent the most time as Phoebe’s love interest. Expertly performed and providing one of pop culture’s very best lovers-to-enemies to vice versa (over and over again) we have ever seen. His chemistry with Phoebe was scorching. He was brilliant, emotional, charming as hell, sexy, and morally all over the place. Cole worked when he was bad and conflicted by love, but his turn to good was actually very well-handled… until it wasn’t. The actor leaving the show meant hastily character-assassinating him, figuratively and literally, to provide an exit. He did a lot for his wife and her sisters, but apparently “he was never good”. Ok, Phoebe.

The Seer

Not to be confused with Kira the Seer from later seasons, played by Cordelia Chase herself. The original Seer was a cool, calm, and collected demon who rarely showed a lot of rage. She was smart, she knew how to stand back and concoct a plan and set events in motion. Even when earlier on encountering the sisters, the two forces didn’t attack each other, because the Seer wasn’t really much for fighting and wasn’t an obvious immediate threat, or so the sisters thought.

Using Cole and Phoebe’s love to engineer a plot to take the power of the Source into herself was brilliant. Aside from the confusing logistics as to whether the baby was really hers, as the Seer claimed, or was really part Halliwell, ultimately the power of the fetus was too strong for her body to hold. Halliwell magic also helped end her threat, right as she was getting started. She was an underrated and worthy character and a noteworthy Black woman villain in this type of show.

Once Upon a Time: Regina Mills aka The Evil Queen

Lana Parilla as The Evil Queen

Once Upon a Time had many villains, but no one did it better than Regina Mills, the Evil Queen. Ignoring her eventual lackluster romance with Robin Hood, *groan*, Regina was always a delight on screen. A powerful sorceress, petty, uncompromising, and sinister, she knew how to conjure up chaos whenever it suited her. Regina’s most shameful act was her continued assault of the Hunstman before killing him right as he found love with Emma. Emma and Graham were one of the show’s only decent hetero ships.

Speaking of ships, Regina and Emma should have happened. Had either of them been male, they would have banged very quickly. They already shared a child. It would have been miles better than Emma and Hook (aka Mr. Pretty but BO-RING), or Regina and Robin. Regina, like many villains on this list, got a redemption arc. Hers was interesting in that people, understandably, did not easily trust or forgive her. She killed and controlled a lot of people. She laid curses on the entire land. And though the narrative didn’t bring it up or properly address it, she assaulted a person. But above all else, Lana Parilla was the standout of the entire cast and was phenomenal, especially when she got to be bad.

Honorable Mentions/Conclusion

(top left) Gina Torres as Jasmine, (top right) Emile de Ravan as Tess Harding, (bottom left) Michael Bowen as Jack Welker, and Zachary Quinto as Gabriel Gray aka Sylar.

For some, a hero, a team, or a story is only as good as its villains. Many shows have featured memorable villains, including ones I didn’t list above. How about a primordial being once possessing Cordelia Chase in Angel who would eventually be portrayed by the incomparable Gina Torres once she got her own body? What about the alien who killed Alex in the original Rosewell series? Maybe the utterly contemptible Neo-Nazi who was the final big bad of Breaking Bad? Remember the sociopathic serial killer who killed people for their powers on Heroes?

Like with any character, villains can be great at one point, ruined the next, or solid the entire time. Do you prefer a complex, nuanced villain? One who just wants to watch the world burn and make people suffer? Folks whose motivations make sense, whether or not you agree with their methods? Do you like redemption arcs? Villains softened or tamed by love? Or do you like villains who engage in toxic love with fellow villains? Your mileage may vary. Tell me what kind of villains you like in the comments below.

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