You’re pretty- for a dark skin girl: The Miseducation of the Deep Sisters

Yup, you read that correctly and I bet you are completely desensitized to it because you’ve heard it so much or in a much worse aspect, you’ve said it to someone. This is the worst backhanded compliment I think people of color say to each other. This doesn’t just relate to black women, but Latina and Indian women often feel the pressure of not being “light enough” to be pretty or acceptable socially. In every ghetto beauty hair store there are sections of products that promise to “lighten” your complexion and thousands of women every day suffer from trying to bleach their skin.

You’re pretty…for a dark skin girl is a common statement in our community because it seems men (and women) don’t want to either embrace their heritage or they feel they are above it. Nappy, dark and black have somehow become synonymous with something unattractive and vile. When this happen? When did we start hating ourselves and why can’t sisters live? Men don’t get the same treatment as women on this subject which is funny and sad simultaneously. Men of darker skin tone are generally perceived to be dominant, sexually aggressive and agile. The stereotype of dark men especially in media is that they are desired by all women and are the epitome of masculinity, yet a dark woman is considered ugly? Oh.

It hurts to see black men talk or demean black women- especially dark women in the media. What really, really irks me is when darker men father beautiful dark skin daughters and they still disrespect dark women. I don’t understand this! How can you call dark women ugly when the baby you created is dark? Rappers glorify lighter women over darker women all the time and its harmful and psychologically dysfunctional on both parts- the sender and receiver.

The beauty of having darker skin is a genetic gift. Most dark people have oily skin and having oiler skin means you are less prone to wrinkles and having less wrinkles mean you hold on to your youthful glow longer than your “lighter counterparts”. Darker skin also holds tans quite lovely ( not saying you should skip your SPF because that is a sin) and makes your natural skin tone appear more bronze.

So instead of saying “Hey, you look pretty for a dark-skin girl”, how about you just say “You’re beautiful” or don’t say anything at all.