My grandmother always told me ” don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and as I get older, the urge to get married and procreate gets stronger. Living in New York City, I have the opportunity to date different men from different cultures but the most unique experiences thus far has been with dating and communicating with Jewish men.
Initially, I was very closed-minded to the idea of interacting with Jewish men because of the stereotypes and because of what I’ve seen with my own eyes in my very own community. The stereotypes that made me hesitant were “cheap, whiny, argumentative, sexist and very dedicated to their religion”. So I decided I’ll try it if the opportunity ever presented itself.
Online dating has allowed me to sift and pick what men I want to get to know and a few months ago a young Jewish man hit me up – age 31, 5’9, bearded, bald, few tats. Jewish but not orthodox (mainly because I was near him I’m sure) and we started video chatting and talking everyday. He would tell me how he’s attracted to me but how he was busy with med school and such – which was understandable for me because I was busy too. But he started to always have an excuse and cancelling on me but maintained consistent communications. He would speak to me in Yiddish and Hebrew sometimes ( only because I knew a few phrases just from living in my neighborhood) and he would try his best to clear up all those Jewish stereotypes ( like the having sex through a sheet rumor). I guess we friendzoned (becoming more friendly and platonic than romantic) each other because even though we live 15 minutes away from each other he has never actually met me? So does this actually account for an experience?
Experience 1 was OK I guess but we never met face to face. Experience 2 was a young man about 32 who lived in Israel for most of his life, spoke Hebrew and was an orthodox Jewish man. Before we went out on a date he told me before hand that he had no qualms dating non-Jewish and would like to hang out with me. We went out to dinner, he was funny, polite, politically aware ( he talked about politics in Israel and how he sides with the Palestinian people) and charming. He wasn’t kosher because he had beer and a burger with bacon and cheese ( I’m not lying). Once our date was over and we was in the car he reached over and tried to grab my hair – which threw me off and my reaction was to smack his hand – but he kept saying how much he likes my hair and how he thought I was cute and he hit me with the deal-breaker. ” I really think you’re cute and I think you’re a smart girl but my family will never approve of you or this relationship. I hope you’re not mad but I dated a black girl for 3 years in secrecy and she was fine with that arrangement”.
What in the same hell gave him the inclination I would date him, or any man in secrecy? What year is this again?
I’m not jaded yet. I’m at my local Trader Joe’s an I’m looking like a big ass 5-year-old ( you know a bright colored top, mix-matched leggings, sneakers and my book-bag) and I’m stop by an older ( maybe 40-45) Hasidic Jewish man stopped me to ask me directions to the nearest synagogue. I found this a bit odd because clearly I’m not Jewish but whatever I guess. After I told him I wasn’t sure where the synagogue was he told me, well almost reprimanded me for not knowing where the local temple was. He asked me my name then concluded by saying ” you are a beautiful Shiksha.”
I guess this doesn’t count because it wasn’t a date.
In Queens, NY I met a Jewish man, age 38, unwed, childless and he approached me sort of strong. He complimented me endlessly and made it appear he only wanted to long-term date. H was very adamant about wanting children and very vocal about being extremely open about bi-racial children. We talked on the phone and as we tried to get to know each other, he told me how he’s ready for children. He kept talking about it – almost every conversation. “Are you on birth control? Would you consider raising your children in traditional Judaism practices? Would you ever convert?” To be honest I never thought or considered converting to anything. Then he revealed to me that he does not want to date or procreate with the “typical Jewish woman” but would rather have children by an ethnic woman (preferably black) but will not marry an ethnic woman unless she converts to Judaism. But the most mind blowing statement he made was that he would marry a Jewish woman but would still have children with a black woman!
Girl yes he did!!!
So I’m not not really sure if I will continue to be open to dating Jewish men but I’m not too thrilled with my experiences because it is new but it seems very difficult to try to have one.
I did speak to another Hasidic young man that approached me and he told me that Moses’ wife was black so it is perfectly fine for Jewish men to date black women but he also seem very adamant to convert me. He always wanted to talk about theology and art ( and I love art) and wanted to know my feelings regarding faith. We don’t converse as much as we did but who knows what the future may hold.
So ladies, have you ever dated a Jewish man? Can you relate to any of these experiences? Let me know.
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