Ladies don’t be shy, tell your man exactly how you like to play in the bedroom (batteries not included)

If you’re ready to try something new in the bedroom, toys can provide you and you partner with a bevy of different sensations and intimate experiences. But bringing up the topic to your significant other can be slightly awkward if you’re unsure how they will react, but if you’re both open to it, there are plenty of options available for couples of all comfort levels.

In addition to spicing things up in the bedroom, toys also have a lot of other benefits. While the average man takes about three to six minutes to climax, women take an average of 14 minutes. If you’re in the mood for a quickie, the disparity between the time it takes you to orgasm can occasionally leave one partner feeling unfulfilled. Using a toy during a quickie can help close the gap and make sure that you’re both completely satisfied.

As Adam & Eve writes, sex toys are great for solo fun, but “they’re even more enjoyable with a partner.” If you’re a more inexperienced couple, you should start with something smaller and eventually move your way towards more advanced options as you get more comfortable. Try a small bullet vibrator or mini anal beads before moving on to larger items.

Some partners may be hesitant to bring toys into the bedroom because they believe that it will take away from their own pleasure. But there are plenty of non-invasive toys available that can increase your pleasure while not disrupting your partner’s. A battery-operated finger vibrator for example, is small and discrete. It can be worn by you or your partner, and will provide you the sensations you’re looking for, while keeping your partner’s experience relatively the same. After a while, they’re likely to see how much pleasure it brings you, and want to try some options that the both of you can use.

If you want to introduce a fetish toy with your partner, it’s important to have an honest discussion about it with them beforehand. You may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but springing something out of left field on them during sex could make them less open to it if they feel like they’re being put on the spot. Just like with other toys, it’s important to start slow, and make sure that you’re both comfortable. Many fetish toys require couples to have a great deal of trust in one another to use, and you both need to be respectful of the other’s boundaries.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with using the tools you were born with to have a great time between the sheets either. You don’t have to use toys every time you have sex, but after you find one that you both really like, you might just want to.