Serious question: Can you ‘Friend Zone’ someone you’ve had sex with? | friend zone, friends with benefits, dating friends, situationship, single and dating, dating in the summer, nyc dating

Friend Zone Super Saiyan Level
Friend Zone Super Saiyan Level

It’s the summer time and everyone is outside, looking good and being sexy so it’s not uncommon to participate in summer flings. You meet someone, you like them, you enjoy their company and you have really good chemistry. Next thing you know you or your beau might find yourself in this space where you feel you be might investing too much of yourself with a person you didn’t expect to.

So what do you do? Do you break it off with this person and severe ties with them all together? Or, do you incorporate them in your life and revisit the situation later when you are ready to deal with those feelings? Can you friend-zone a former lover? Is it really friend-zoning if you choose to end your rump-a-thon with an old flame?

These are serious questions that I ask myself. See generally, being “friend-zoned” usually means you show interest in someone and they aren’t receptive to it or they just aren’t interested. So instead of saying they aren’t interested, they keep you in this confidant-type of category and you become their emotional friend.

So can you friend-zone a former lover? Can you just be friends with someone you’ve exchanged bodily fluids with? Can you be platonic friends with someone you’ve made have an orgasm? Yes? No? Maybe?? I think it depends on the parties involved. Some people can be mature enough to acknowledge what they had and leave it at that; both parties can step away with no emotional bruises and still be in each others’ company. But will those mature parties have a strong likelihood to revisit those old flames?


I’m of the ilk that proposes ‘once I’ve slept with you, I can always sleep with you’. Maybe it’s one of my over-cofident moments because I think I have #BaduBox but I know how hard it is to have a good lover. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, a good lover involves some sort of emotions. A good lover must be romantic, involved and focus on their lover and sometimes feelings come up you never really intended and you need to fall all the way back. But damn, I wonder if you will still reminisce about that good-good when they are talking to you about their new boo? Are you mature enough to look your former flame in the face and not feel that attraction you once shared? Do you wonder if your former lover wants “it”? These are things I would always be thinking about as we converse about things I might care about it someone else was talking about it.

For example:

Him: Did you read see what happened in the news today?
Me: Yeah, XYZ
Him: Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
Me: thinking: Damn, I would love to see you naked right now. Shut up and eat my clothes off.
Him: You ok?
Me: Yeah,I’m Cool.

So tell me. Can you friend-zone a former lover? How do you deal with that in a respectable manner and do you ever leave the door open for a second chance?

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