Cooning for Clicks: @ Courtcartertv pens poorly written article about Black Men hating Black Women

You know I try to look at things from a reasonable perspective but sometimes people make it very hard to give them the benefit of a doubt. I saw an article posted on For Harriet and I already knew it was some bullshit and yes, I’m still made at Kimberly for that wack ass post she did about Eric Garner . So I decided I wanted to watch a car crash; I read it and it was as foolish as I knew it was going to be. I don’t understand what’s up with these new blacks that think a few degrees and a decent job makes them exceptional over other coloreds that might not be as established. There is this entitlement that some people feel that they are more deserving of things than others – but that isn’t even the icing on the cake with this young lady.

Ms. Courtney Carter used Huffington Post ( or they used her) to express her disdain for Black men. Ok, I get it and in fact, I’ve been in the same position where I felt that Black men weren’t into me. For instance, sometimes when I’m out and I’m observing my surroundings, I tend to look at everyone and some Black men ( especially here in New York City) will look dead in my direction and shake their heads as if I’m looking at them lustfully. I kid you not! I’d be at the bus stop and I like to examine everything around me and if I look at a man 1 second too long I’d get that ” Eww, don’t look at me fat girl look” from men I’m not interested in – I find it humorous and sad.

To be loved by a Black man is an overwhelming feeling that is indescribable; it’s powerful, potent and overwhelming so I can understand the frustrations that Black women have with trying to understand why some Black men don’t appreciate us, even as passing strangers. But the author chose to lay out her reasons why Black men should love her as if she can’t fathom why a Black man couldn’t love an educated, “non ghetto” Black woman. She contributes her upbringing to the Cosby’s (as a comparison) and stated that her boyfriend’s mother thought she was a “white girl” on the phone. She described herself as the “whitest Black girl” or whatever the fuck that means.

The pseudo elitism bothers me more than the bad grammar and awful generalizations regarding Black men.
Does she makes some points? Of course but it gets lost in her internalized issues with Black men not accepting her. Anytime you add Black to anything it becomes a bigger issue. An angry woman isn’t as charged like saying an angry Black woman, or an angry Black man. She references rap music as one of the platforms that Black men disrespect her ( and Black women in general) but that’s not exclusively a Black issue – that’s also in punk, rock, heavy metal and even jazz amongst white artists as well.

The most disturbing excerpt from this was her conversation with her boyfriend about her hair. Her boyfriend stated that he would like their baby to have his hair because her hair is too coarse – what the hell! Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission and yes, there are some Black men they won’t appreciate you or me but that does not deter my love, passion and urgency to always defend them even when they don’t defend me.

“..and when he get on he’ll leave your ass for a white girl”

Let me start by saying this: I know writing this article is going to cause quite a bit of controversy. So let’s get this out-of-the-way: I am intelligent, not what society deems “ghetto” and from what I am told and from where I work in the television business, I am attractive. Why is that necessary to say? Let’s start below.

Black men don’t like black women. Yes, I said it.

Not all, but many and it’s growing. I think I wouldn’t really care if OTHER races felt this way, but the fact that my own men do, made me consider turning my backs on them multiple times.

My boyfriend and I were having a conversation (he is black and Puerto Rican) about black men vs black women. It started getting intense and I said, “you don’t get it! Black men are viewed as sexy and in a sense a “trophy” for another race, but black women are never deemed the most attractive. Other races are always seen as a trophy on the arm of a black man.”

He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “you don’t understand the black man struggle. They look at me like I’m a criminal.” And in a sense, I might not. But I thought in my head, “at least black women VALUE black men. It’s becoming rare to see the reverse.”

This all started because I was referencing a conversation we had when I was pregnant with our son. He said lightheartedly, “I hope our son has my hair.” My boyfriend has beautiful soft curls, a genetic gift from both of his races.

But my heart sank. What did he mean? I am known for being sensitive so I asked.

**

**

He said, “Courtney… I see you struggle with your hair and I think it would be nice if he had my curly hair. You wouldn’t want him to have coarse hair if you could help it? It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I’m saying.”

The rational part of me thought about what he was trying to say… but no matter how much I replayed it, it still didn’t sound right to me.

What was he trying to say about MY hair?

Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren’t “wanted.” I have seen a black man not stare twice at a black woman who I would see as beautiful and yet I’ve seen him break his neck for a decent (if dare I say unattractive) woman of another race… huh?

Why are rap songs all about white women? If you think I’m wrong, listen to your music and get back to me.

Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference of who they like. But when you start saying things as a black man such as, “I DON’T date black women, I don’t find them attractive.” I think we have an issue.

Even Psychology Today wrote an article that spoke about black women being unattractive (it is now taken down).

Black men: your mom is black. Your sisters are black. Your favorite aunt is BLACK. Do you think they’re all unattractive?

As I’ve gotten older I’ve met many of men who will openly say they don’t want a baby with a black woman. They want a baby with “light skin or light eyes and good hair.”

IF. I. HEAR. THAT. STATEMENT. ONE. MORE.TIME. I. WILL. LOSE. IT

If you don’t support us, black men, how do you expect us to be able to support you? Do you even want us to anymore?

I never understood why it made a certain type of black man feel good to have a white woman on his arm. It would be one thing if it was true love, but some are just doing it because they see it as a prize.

Even on social media, my heart will sink as I see black women I’ve known from high school or elementary now say they’re “black and Filipino,” “black and Puerto Rican,” “black and whatever race,” just don’t say you’re full black! It seems these women have been conditioned to think they’re not worthy if they’re “just black.”

These statements below are the most common things I hear about why black men don’t like black women:

“Black Women Have Too Much Attitude/Ghetto”
Before I met my boyfriend’s mother in person, she thought I was white. No kidding. From the way I spoke on the phone to the way “I act” I have been dubbed the “whitest black girl” from my hometown to a city close to the Canadian border (Syracuse what what!). The point of this is that I don’t have an attitude problem nor am I ghetto. I WILL get an attitude like any woman would over normal things. But I have friends of many backgrounds, I’ve seen Asian women get an attitude, Caucasian women and Latina women (mind-blowing, right?)

I have many black friends that would prefer to not be confrontational and would rather just pretend an event never happened rather than address it.

Most of my friends are educated, more educated than their significant others and grew up from a family in the middle-upper class backgrounds.

We are not all ghetto.

“Black Women Are Unattractive”
I’m going to leave out Beyonce and Rihanna because duh. But have you met a woman named Gabrielle Union? Michelle Obama? Halle Berry? Iman? Vanessa Williams (who by the way is full black, people get off on thinking very attractive black women are mixed). Nia Long? Taraji Henson? I can go through this all day. Even the women in my own family — beautiful!

“Black Women Wear Weaves… I Like Good Hair”
This is probably the one that irritates me the most. Do men not realize all races of women are capable of wearing weaves and clip-ins?

For some reason they think only black women were extensions. Why? I personally know MANY women of other races who wear extensions.

Just like every race there are some black women with beautiful, natural hair. Is that so hard to believe?

I for one am TIRED.

I know I’m an attractive female with a lot to offer. I have a degree, two actually, including a masters. I am intelligent, can hold a conversation and come from a background more like The Cosby’s then the PJs (do you remember that show? I digress…) I know how to cook and I am known for being “everyone’s cheerleader” (supportive).

Why do I feel so invisible sometimes then? Passed over?

And most importantly… why are our own men making us feel this way?

Of course Black Twitter has jokes:

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