Open letter to Black Women dating White Men, “He’s not your Savior”


Self-destruction takes on many forms and when we don’t control our lives and own up to our responsibilities we began to lose control and start pointing fingers. But we exist in this wonderful life we are all blessed to have the freedom of choice and with those choices we are learning from previous mistakes to be better people (hopefully).

My open letter to Black women is out of concern and a trend I’m starting to see develop. Yes, I’m an active (voyeur) of White Boy Wednesday and yes I find some white men to be attractive but I’m hearing and seeing some black women feel a certain “upgrade” by only being available for white men doesn’t that shit sound stupid AMIRITE??? like it raises their “stock” (which I think is pretty degrading in itself).

Black women, understand this – dating a white man will not erase who you are! You will not appear privileged, white or non-colored. For years we as women of color have felt how it feels to be demoralized by our men and now you have these black women praising white men for “treating them nice” like they have found their white knights.

Bitch please.

You dating white men is a personal choice that I respect but don’t blame your problems and your lack of attraction to black men an honest choice because it is not. It’s a condition. You’ve condition yourself to view black men the way society does or (let’s really touch an issue) how you were raised. Yes, I believe that some of these ladies(not all) are dating white men for the same reasons why black men denounce us and date white women; Self-hatred and lack of self-awareness.

You ain’t got no proof Eryka !

Black Woman: White men relate to me more (how?)
Black Woman: I find them sexier (maybe)
Black Woman: I’m just not attracted to black men (bitch please)
Black Woman: Black men aren’t educated enough (side eye)
Black Woman: I’ve never dated a black man (this is possible)

Black women, I beg you don’t carry all the hurt you’ve got in your luggage looking for a savior. Your savior is not in the ball sack of a white man. Truth be told, you might find yourself in utter confusion. Here’s a reality check: SOME WHITE MEN AIN’T SHIT EITHER. The white man you think will accept you as you are will cheat on you just like a black, hispanic or indian man would! If you are looking for this sent-from-heaven-white guy that will appreciate buying you tampons and shea butter you need to get a grip on yourself. Don’t continue the cycle of internal racism, let that hurt go. Just think about it, would you want a white guy to date you just to hear him complain how much he can’t stand white women? Shit sounds dumb right? Or better yet, stop using public forums to disclose your disdains with black men and expect to a white guy to want to be your cleanup man. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FO’ ALL DAT!

Black women, I love you, even if I don’t agree with you I love you. I love you because I understand where that hurt comes from. I’m saying this to you because when you date people out of hurt and rejection and to “try it” it usually turns ugly. When I was in my early 20s you could not get me to date a white guy but as I got older began to have a ” why not” type of attitude and I’ve met some cool guys and so really nasty, not-so-nice white guys. I’ve had my share of weird experiences too.

Think about what you’re doing – airing dirty laundry for the world to see then it hurts when it comes back to you too. You have some white men that prey on these emotionally down-and-out black women because they see and read our conversations in social media (hello, we make everything trend) and they feel like playing the superman just to use you sexually. To some white men you are just a fetish and a one-night-stand and you ladies need to know how to flesh those men out but you can’t do it correctly dating them just because they are white!

Dating should be fun and you should know the person you are first before inviting others into your bullshit. Nobody likes to be used and ladies if your heart is heavy take care of that first. Forgive, let go and just learn to love yourself. Nobody is your savior but you.

but before I flip my hair back and forth I’ll post a cutie :p

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3 thoughts on “Open letter to Black Women dating White Men, “He’s not your Savior”

  • August 26, 2017 at 7:28 AM

    I’m an oddity. I genuinely love being Black and love, encourage, support, and respect Black Men. I just am not attracted to Black Men. I have no hurts, negative pov, don’t buy into stereotypes of BM or any men. I believe that horrible men exist across the racial divide. At one point I sought a therapist to get know if there was an underlying problem. There isn’t for me I’m just not attracted to them and don’t have any fetish.


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